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-''-. TO FINISH THAT INVISIBILITY CLOAK
(\ /\) SO I CAN GET ON AND OFF THE BUS WITHOUT PAYING
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Ever since the SOPA/PIPA blackout last month — which I am pleased to report performed precisely as designed; score one for democracy! — I’ve been consumed with curiosity about the precedent for both this type of lawmaking and this type of protest.
It’s a bit of a cliché at this point to point out that the Walt Disney Company essentially owns American copyright law; whenever Mickey Mouse (created in 1928) threatens to move, over time, into the public domain, Disney has lobbied Congress to extend the legal span of copyright. So within progressive circles, copyright has been often been regarded as a weapon that corporations wield against culture. For example, although SOPA and PIPA are dead for now, a proposed international copyright treaty — ACTA, the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement — has already been signed by the United States and is currently making the rounds in Europe. Negotiated completely in secret in closed sessions between lawmakers and media corporations, it is considered by some to be even more dangerous to a free and open Internet than SOPA/PIPA.
So in researching historical precedents, I was intrigued to read the following, in an 1877 collection of essays by Nathaniel Southgate Shaler:
In the last days of this late distracted session of Congress a stealthy effort was made to push through the legislative ways a bill that would have practically abolished the limited monopoly of inventions granted by our present patent laws. This measure passed unquestioned through the House, and was only arrested in the Senate by the vigorous resistance of a few men from without its walls. As this scheme has the backing of several strong corporations…it is sure to be revived in the next session of the national legislature.
The dangerous, secretive bill of his time was one that apparently would have abolished restrictions on intellectual property!
I’m not certain what bill in particular Mr. Shaler is referencing here, since the latter half of the nineteenth century was absolutely littered with patent, trademark, and copyright legislation. Patent law was created to preserve the rights of an inventor to the profits derived from his invention, without fear of the invention being duplicated by a rival; trademark law, the same for brand names (essentially to prevent counterfeit goods from being sold under a reputable name); and copyright law, the same for works of creative expression such as books, plays, and music. The three forms of intellectual property are nowadays often bundled together as far as legal rights are concerned, but it wasn’t always so.
The patent law in effect as of 1870 provided patent protection to an inventor for seventeen years from the date of filing. Earlier, the grant of patent was for only fourteen years, but the holder of a pre-1861 patent could personally petition Congress for an additional seven-year extension, in what was surely the least efficient process imaginable. Occasionally there came to Congress a petition for a further extension based on extenuating circumstances — here’s a Congressional transcript from 1873 in which Lyman Trumbull, in his last year of office after 28 years in the Senate, wearily objects to this practice: “Every man who has a patent will come here with his claim to have it extended. He will bring his affidavits that he has not made as much as he thinks he ought to have made by his discovery; somebody has litigated with him perhaps, or there has been some objection… It is time it was stopped.” (Patents nowadays generally last for 20 years.)
Despite Mr. Shaler’s claims, patents and intellectual property in general were treated very seriously by lawmakers at the time. In the 1870s there was a furious debate about whether Congress had the constitutional power to administer trademarks at the federal level (since only patents and copyright are mentioned in the Constitution), and when the Supreme Court decided in 1879 that it was in fact not constitutional, a constitutional amendment to give Congress that power was immediately proposed by junior Iowa Senator Moses A. McCoid.
In debate, Georgia’s Nathaniel Hammond declared the amendment frivolous by asserting that the stability of the Constitution, and its assignation of such rights to the individual states, was “like the sun, grand, majestic, glorious — but out of its orbit, whether by force, legislative or judicial, centripetal or centrifugal, it makes of our system chaos and blazes but to burn.” [Citation]
McCoid responded, in part (emphasis mine):
The lion’s skin may become too short. We are stretching our limbs; we are expanding our lungs; we are extending our territory, increasing the number of our States, extending new lines of railway, stretching telegraph wires across plains and mountains; we are swarming above and talking beneath the seas; we are overcoming new difficulties and contriving new forces and instruments of enterprise, and the giant form which is thus growing to manhood can not lie within the narrow confines of the cradle of its infancy. [...]
The Constitution, Mr. Speaker, is not a mummy of unchangeableness laid away in the pyramid of our reverence for our fathers, but the plastic charter for a living, growing, ever-changing people… [Citation]
Spoiler alert: the Constitutional amendment never went anywhere. Congress did pass a federal trademark law in 1881 based on a creative interpretation of its power to regulate interstate commerce, but modern trademark law as we understand it today wasn’t codified until the Lanham Act of 1946.
But until the 1881 act, there was an interim during which there was no system of federal trademark regulation. This meant that the government had to repay $210,000 in trademark fees collected between 1870 and 1879. They had to pay back $25 per filing to 8,400 people. And trademark law remained an issue regulated by individual states — meaning that you could potentially file a trademark in California that wasn’t valid in Oregon.
Two more minor points of interest in this debate. One of Senator Hammond’s reasons for opposing the constitutional amendment was that he did not believe trademarks were as worthy of protection as copyrights and patents:
Suffer me to call attention to this effort to give a dignity and importance to trade-marks to which they are not entitled… The author spends a lifetime of seclusion and study that he may write a book. He is frequently not rich, but poor; not honored, but despised. A copyright but protects from piracy that which, while it may support him, blesses his race. The scientist or inventor constructs in his brain what no other mind can produce. To perfect his projects costs time and toil. To-day he is buoyant with hope, to-morrow in despair. Capital opposes his innovations; ignorance fights him. He may be driven from home, as was Fourdrinier from France, for inventing the paper-making machine, or Jacquard from Lyons, for improving weaving machinery. It is right that genius should be protected and rewarded. And yet so opposed were our fathers to monopoly that to these benefactors of mankind they gave constitutional protection only for “a limited time,” in consideration of public use of their inventions, etc., in all future time.
But what thought or study, what toil or risk, what care or expense to the capitalist was involved in such trade-marks as “the shirt,” “exactly twelve yards,” “Bismarck” (collars), “genuine Yankee soap,” or “Mrs. Winslow’s soothing syrup”? Why should they be protected and forever? [Citation]
To which McCoid responded, with an amusing bit of theatrics:
The gentleman from Georgia seems to think the subject a trivial one, and not of sufficient importance to justify this action; and in his attempt to belittle it he talks of the protection of “Winslow’s Soothing Syrup” and such things as that. I wish to remind the gentleman, in order to relieve his mind from that attempt to belittle the subject, that he justifies and eulogizes our fathers for placing the copyright clause in our Constitution; but he might, with a like spirit of unfairness, as well have ridiculed them by referring to these copyrighted works I have before me [holding them up] — the “Dashington Brothers’ Negro Song-Book,” the “Pitcher-of-Beer Songster,” the “Sullivan and Harrington Sweet Jerusha Jane Songster,” “Lottie Grant’s Tired of Single Life Songster,” “Mother Goose,” “Weston Brothers’ Laughing Chorus,” and “Jenny Jones’s Songster.”
A Member: Do not forget “Jack, the Giant-Killer.”
Mr. McCoid: I will include “Jack, the Giant-Killer,” as the gentleman suggests, and I might mention many others. [Citation]
>>> IMPORTANT ASIDE: If you are at Brown University, you need to go to the library and examine what may be the only existing copy of“Lottie Grant’s Tired of Single Life Songster” and report back.
Hammond also opposed a bill that detailed harsh penalties for counterfeiters and violators of trademark:
Those sections punish every person who deals in or sells or keeps or offers for sale or procures the sale of goods covered by a colorable imitation of a trade-mark, or puts a trade-mark on goods made to imitate trade-mark goods, or fills a bottle or box covered by a trade-mark with an imitation of its intended contents, etc… The punishment is a fine not exceeding $1,000 or imprisonment not more than two years, or both such fine and imprisonment. [...] Have the gentlemen thought of the severity of this punishment? [...]
Four men, convicted of illicit distillation, left the bar of a United States court for the penitentiary in Albany simultaneously. One was rescued by a pardon; death relieved the keeper of the custody of the other three…
I am told the laws would not be enforced, but are needed to prevent the crimes. The advocates of the bill would invoke the majesty of the United States to frighten citizens. No such spirit breathes from the Constitution. If you would not have laws despised, pass none which you will not enforce. Make laws to provoke love, not to excite terror. [Citation]
This strikes me as similar to contemporary debates about the penalties for intellectual property “piracy.” According to the official RIAA website:
Making unauthorized copies of copyrighted music recordings is against the law and may subject you to civil and criminal liability. A civil law suit could hold you responsible for thousands of dollars in damages. Criminal charges may leave you with a felony record, accompanied by up to five years of jail time and fines up to $250,000.
Meaning, as has been pointed out by many people, you could go to jail for five years for pirating a Michael Jackson song, or one year longer than the doctor who killed him.
Tomorrow: The debate over foreign copyright as it pertains to literature! It’s more interesting than it sounds, I promise. At least…to me
Today’s fallacy is brought to you by Slip-N-Scrape Intersystem Waterpark Construct! Get wet with style at Slip-N-Scrape with a $5 coupon on the sides of cans of Fentaliphytrate Grib protozoan drink.
Hopefully I got it right this time, yesterday’s fallacy invited a lot of commentary and I’m still not sure what the right answer is. Luckily, art is ephemeral and we move on.
Buy a print of your favorite SFAM comic, won’t you?
Hey geeks! My sister is raising money for foster children in need via "Spin for a Child." They help kids get court appointed special advocates they need. So, if you have a couple bucks to spare, please consider sending them this way.
Everybody gets a little blue sometimes, even me. Luckily, Chris leads a very depressing life so he was able to tell me how to get through it. Thanks, Chris!
LISTEN: Our buddy Adam WarRock (or Eugene, whatever) put out a new EP in preparation for Mass Effect 3. Listen to it and prepare to go HAM on the Reapers.
Copyright violations KILL AUTHORS. (Brief excerpt from an 1842 editorial in the North American Review, advocating a copyright treaty between the United States and England, for the mutual benefit of authors, publishers, and readers in both nations.)
Or, “Ow, my back”. Let’s distract ourselves a bit, why don’t we.
Christopher Baldwin is coming up on the end of Part 2 (of 3) of Spacetrawler, and is looking to hit the ground running on book production. He’s about 12 hours into a Kickstarter campaign that’s about 25% funded, which is good. Baldwin’s pretty aggressive about the campaign, with an unusually large number of donor levels/prize combo platters for such a modest goal (US$7000), and that extends to his campaign’s duration: a mere 21 days.
Be sure to watch his video all the way through, as he’s got some pretty original thank-you gifts (including a series of postcards from around the galaxy, sent to you each month, written by one of his characters¹). He also pronounces some of those verging-on-unpronouncable-by-humans alien locations² with lots of spitty noises, and that’s always fun.
It’s been a couple of weeks, so it’s time for me to remind you again about Saveur and their ongoing project of having comics artists provide recipes in comic form. This week’s contribution comes from Gordon McAlpin of Multiplex fame, and it sounds delicious.
Finally, time for my occasional reminder that while it’s not always to the forefront of Sinfest, Tatsuya Ishida’s Criminy and Miss Fuchsia storyline is possibly the most heartfelt thing I read in my daily feeds, and he surpassed all previous Awwwww! moments with yesterday’s update.
I can’t help but wonder if Baby Blue, the Sisterhood, or Big D is going to bollocks up the moment of simple contentment they’re enjoying right now³ (out of misplaced concern, misunderstanding or bad intent, respectively), but for the moment they’re happy in a way that anybody who’s felt that first flush of love will remember. Hopefully, their Valentine’s Day will be just as happy for them.
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¹ Can’t wait to see what Krep has to say to you.
³ Possibly by hounding the poor escaped soul who remembers story time; I don’t think either Crim or Fyoosh have it in them to be cruel to himm, even accidentally.
Gabe:
I ended up enjoying FF XIII by the time I got to hour thirty or so. My biggest problem with that game was how slow it was to start. Also the story didn’t make any fucking sense but I don’t really care about that. By the time I got the hang of the paradigm system I was bored with the game. FF XIII-2 gets rid of all the bullshit set up and throws you right into the fun stuff.
There is a bit of a tutorial but for the most part the game assumes you know how Paradigms work. In
King Beaver is the best dam 'em up since Beaver Islands IV... and that was 20 years ago! Also pictured and tragically obscured by speech bubbles... Fringe Pinball and "Meme Killa".
Tycho:
Gabriel played Final Fantasy XIII the requisite number of hours to know that he liked it, and so he was well prepared to like Final Fantasy XIII-2: the XIIIening. He was also well equipped by his previous experience to dominate the game’s earliest chapters, as he’d already long mastered the Paradigm system. I never quite got there myself, because I quit too early, and also because I was playing a game that I’m not entirely sure even exists.
I was playing the one where instead of simply calling “plays” in the form of tuned Paradigms you do that and
If you know the correct meaning and usage of the phrase “Begging the Question,” congratulations! You have dedicated precious brain cells to the task of remembering something that is of practically negative value in current conversational spheres.
I need you guys to buy some things from the store, okay? I have to buy some coal for the servers.
A while back I was contacted by a reader in the UK who was working with a new website that sells soccer (or football) related t-shirts. They wanted to know if I’d like to design a shirt for them. I replied that I know next to nothing about American football, and even less about FIFA. Indeed, I had only one idea for a shirt, which I told them (thinking it would demonstrate that I’m not the guy for this job). Instead they wrote back that they liked the idea. I was as surprised as anyone.
I promised a book contest, and here it is. I will ask a question. You will post an answer to said question in the comments section of this comic ("How to Visit the Mirror Universe"). The answer need not be correct. Heck, you don’t NEED to answer the question at all! Please do leave an e-mail address though. A commenter will be chosen at random to win a signed copy of my third book, “The Curse of the Masking Tape Mummy” (which is available for sale now).
There have been several questions about the books on my bookshelf, so here’s a clear shot of them.
Now the question. Which four books on this shelf exist because of John Hodgman?
DISCUSS!! The winning comment will be chosen at random on the morning of Thursday, February 9th.
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; CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW ZYNGA COMES UP WITH THIS STUFF
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WOOP! SMBC Theater SEASON 4 starts TOMORROW! Please tell your nerdtastic friends, since word of mouth is the best way for us to spread this. Thanks, geeks!
Also, sorry again for the slow load times. We're fending off some server weirdness, but we should have 100% very shortly.
The smartest thing DC’s done with these Watchmen prequels is put some quality talent on them. JMS, Azzarello, Darywyn Cooke, Kuberts – this definitely isn’t the new 52 featuring a “Where are they now” murderer’s row of 90′s talent.
It’s funny, every interview you read with the people on these books is weirdly defensive. They give reasons for why this is okay, reasons why Moore shouldn’t be mad, reasons why this is a good idea – and the thing is, the product will show all that if it’s good. Don’t tell us Moore shouldn’t be upset about this, don’t try to take some moral high ground. Just do a good job on it and shut the fuck up. None of you had a burning desire to tell a new Night Owl story. This isn’t some kind of passion project you’ve wanted to do for years.
You are talented and DC recognizes that and is giving you a lot of money to work on a very controversial project. Just say that, do your best work and shut up about it.
As we start can I note that two new Achewoodsin two days is a trend that should be encouraged? Yes, I believe I can.
Also worth encouraging: the previews of forthcoming graphic novels that we’re getting a page (or so) at a time. Things like the really fun Cow Boy, giving us four or so pages of Boyd Linney (ten years old, bounty hunter, righting the wrongs of his family) in each update. If you haven’t been reading it, now’s the perfect time to jump on, as the thirty pages that have been released so far have brought us to what’s sure to be a pretty epic shootout.
Likewise, the always-delightful team of MechaYuko-Ananth are using the next several updates of Johnny Wander to tease us with pages from their forthcoming Oni project, Lucky Penny. One page so far with the promise of another eight pages in February, which should be just enough to whet one’s appetite for the full book, which doesn’t yet have a release date (boo).
I’m not entirely sure what the odds are that any of those kids will remember last night’s fun times as one more encouragement that helps make drawing a life-long pursuit, ultimately leading to pro-level cartoonings; probably not great, but you never know. I just like to imagine one of them finding those images in twenty years or so and realizing I met Scott C and Kate Beaton when I was six? Dang.
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¹ Although Beatoun has made soume public mentioun of mouving back tou Canada in the near future, oune can see that she’s “goune native” froum her time in Broouklyn. Spelling “colouring” without a “u”? I think that’s almoust enough to get your Canadian passpourt revouked.
hi guys. i know you like my stuff and i appreciate you being here. we’re going to have a lovely year together. there’s a lot of exciting stuff in the works for chainsawsuit, and for me personally, and i want you to be a part of it. anyway this started out way too mushy, that’s not what i wanted to say
what i wanted to say is, believe it or not, i derive a lot of my income from traffic and pageviews. and i derive traffic and pageviews, even more believe it or not, from sharing. if you’re on facebook or google plus, please like or +1 the comics every day! and the pages themselves: fb, g+
and i guess… well, this is mushy too but i love you
and i want to kiss you right on your face. maybe i’ll do that. maybe i will
Some fake video games. If I knew anything about modern programming, I think most of these could work as browser-based games or apps. And if you have a tin ear like me, this book could come in handy.
I have a Super Bowl comic in the works for The Strip, so be sure to check in over the weekend.
I just wanted to wish Image Comics a very happy belated 20th birthday.
Thank you so much for believing in PvP and supporting the strip and leading me to so many personal and professional achievements. I’ve made so many friends and marked so many items off my bucket list because of Image.
Every single Image comics founder, even those who have moved on from Image, have always taken the time to say a nice word to me at cons and be supportive and kind.
Image comics remains the best place for independent comic book creators to break into the industry. I will always be grateful.
Tycho:
Readers are lashing out at William C. Deitz’ addition to the Mass Effect ouvre, with his new novel “Deception.” Indeed, they feel deceived! And they are cataloguing this beast-man’s transgressions in an endlessly elaborated upon codex with such terrible granularity that I’ve begun to feel sympathy for the man. I was under the impression that I liked Mass Effect, maybe even liked it a lot, liked it more than most people. But, no. I’m not entirely certain I want to like Mass Effect this much.
Tie-In Fiction seems like a tough racket, all told. It has a mercenary quality
BEHOLD! The idol from the beginning of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (Someday I’m gonna cover that thing with gold leaf) is now reading the full color comic book illustrated Rocket Hat adventure that can only be enjoyed by those who possess a copy of my third book!
You, (YES! YOU!) can get a copy of said book at my publisher’s website, or by winning a copy in a contest, the rules of which I shall announce on Monday, after I have decided what those rules are.
The jump from sixth place to fifth is pretty major, though — while OoTSDrive12 has added nearly US$40K since this time yesterday (to an as-of-this-writing US$394,188), fifth place requires clearing a hurdle of US$486,518. So, another two or three days at the present pace. Because I simply can’t keep up with the monstrous growth, from this point on I’ll restrict reporting to when Burlew crosses one of those Top Five lines (and there’s a big gap between fourth place and third), or when something particularly humorous happens in the storyline of his updates.
In news that doesn’t relate to Rich Burlew getting a big damn check¹ in three weeks or so, I’m guessing that most of you have at least seen a reference to an astonishing comic done by French artist Boulet that exploded through the web-o-sphere yesterday. If you haven’t seen it yet, you need to right now. It is, in no particular order:
Okay, fine, Boulet confesses that he went over by two hours to finish it. Now go back and tell me that any normal human could produce that story (remember, no prep work before the 24 hours starts!) on an improvisational basis. I think we know where Boulet stands on the famed comics progression of First you get good, then you get fast, then you get good and fast².
Whatcha doing Saturday night? If you’re in western Pennsylvania (specifically, in/around Pittsburgh), why not drop in on the ToonSeum? They’re repeating one of the best comics cross-promotions in the history of ever by once again partnering with Pittsburgh’s own East End Brewing Company³ to release a 700-bottle limited run of Belgian-style Illustration Ale.
Like the May 2010 run of Illustration, each bottle will bear a label designed by one of six local cartoon artists, and a portion of the proceeds will benefit the ToonSeum. Illustration Ale debuts on 4 February, 6:00pm, with a bottle and ToonSeum admission included in the ticket price ($30; $20 for members, available at the desk or online).
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¹ Anytime you hit Buy me a house territory, it’s a big damn check.
² Dave Sim; yes, the guy’s got some terrible personal views of how life works, but he’s absolutely right about that one.
Muskrat Ramblings
Happy Birthday, Aunt Linda posted by John
Today would have been the 69th birthday of my Aunt Linda.
Hit with both Down’s Syndrome and, later, Alzheimers, it would be easy to conclude that life just isn’t bloody fair, sometimes. Yet Linda Williams was one of the most wonderful human beings I have ever had the privilege to be around – kind, compasionate, and pure of heart, she was the very essence of what we all should strive to become.
My grandmother – my mother’s mom – died before I was born, so someone was needed to look after my mother’s youngest sister, Linda. Instead of sending her to an institution (which, in the late 1950s would not have seemed an unreasonable option), my mom and dad, then a young married couple, took Linda in. She lived with them for most of the rest of her life, until the Alzheimers was too severe, at the very end.
I can’t even imagine the sort of commitment and sacrifice that entailed on the part of a young couple – and it leaves me in awe of my parents – but it was also one that reaped enormous blessings. The main blessing for me being the privilege of knowing Linda, and having so much time with her. She was like a big sister to me, growing up. Then at some point I became like a big brother to her. Life is full of role reversals: I never expected this one to occur so quickly. Yet looking back, I found both roles joyous.
So much is said about the childlike nature of people with Down’s Syndrome, it’s probably best to send folks to the “Myths and Truths” page of the National Down’s Syndrome Society. I’m no spokesperson: I only know that knowing Linda, and having her in my life, left an indelible impression on me. I like to think I’m a better person because of her. She is possibly the best person I have ever known.
I miss you so much, Aunt Linda. The whole family does. If there is a heaven, it is truly graced by your presence. Thank you for teaching me more than you could ever have known.
How one who was given so little could give so very much to those around her amazes and humbles me to this day.
No, you haven’t gone crazy. Some mysterious god-force has cascaded across the archives of Dr. McNinja, changing the name of our comic’s very first villain… Donald McBonald.
I’d like to assure you that no, I haven’t received any pressure from any real world restaurants to make the change. The truth is that when I wrote the very first Dr. McNinja comic, it was homework for an art school summer class. There was no consideration about publication of the comic or legal ramifications. But that story is part of McNinja continuity, and if I’m going to make big boy comics, I should do the bare minimum amount of work it takes to create the difference between perfectly legal parody and trademark theft… before I get sued.
we’ll send one of our mealboys straight to your table. then the countdown begins! our mealboy robots will try everything to escape, so watch out… there goes your dinner! try these family favorites:
JMS already turned Superman into a terrible hipster in his Superman: Year One, we’re just taking it a little further.
ALSO: Chris and I were honored to be chosen to be in Dallas’ comic comedy ensemble The Variant‘s season 2 finale episode! Check it out. You see my ass.
-cof
Okay, so if you haven’t heard yet, today has been a big news day for us.
No, not the Watchmen thing. I mean, I’m sure we’ll do something about that, but that’s not what I’m trying to talk about now.
As Curt pointed out/embedded our guest-starring episode of The Variants finally debuted today.
By a strange cosmic coincidence, the news also broke today that I’m going to be drawing a book for Boom! called “Captain American Idol”. Here is the cover and the solicitation for said book:
CAPTAIN AMERICAN IDOL #1: During World War II, Captain American was America’s #1 entertainer, thrilling audiences stateside and on the front lines — until a Komikaze attack on his show seemingly took him away forever. But now, a TV talent show looking for fresh blood instead finds the Captain’s frozen body. Written by Rich Johnston (no, really!), drawn by Chris Haley with a cover by Mark Stafford, CAPTAIN AMERICAN IDOL ships on April 25th with a Diamond order code of FEB12 0847.
If you want to order it from your local comic shop, it’s in the Previews that just came out today.
Now, you may have noticed from the title in the picture that this book (and several others that accompany it) is being written by Rich Johnston of Bleeding Cool fame/infamy.
If you follow me on Twitter, you may have also noticed that there were some people who were really upset with me for taking this gig because Rich was writing it.
I’m not sure what to say to that exactly.
I mean, I could tell you, we do this comic for $0 and I’ve got bills to pay if I want to keep eating and living indoors, so when a fucking for real comic company calls and says “We want to pay you to draw a comic for us!”, I’d be pretty stupid to say no.
I could also tell you that some of our biggest traffic when we were trying to get this thing started came from Rich Johnston linking to us over at Bleeding Cool.
I could also, also tell you that Rich Johnston has never been anything but friendly, professional, and helpful to Curt and myself. He’s linked to us without us asking. He’s linked to us when we’ve had something we really needed linked to. For some reason he asked me to present an award at his Bleeding Cool Awards at C2E2 last year, and gave me an introduction that was so flattering I was honestly a little dumbstruck.
And most importantly, at a time when my financial future was looking pretty terrifying, I find out he has suggested a major comic publisher invest their money in me as an artist worth paying.
So, if knowing all of that, you still want to hate on me for taking this gig all I can say is..
Or perhaps..
Or..
Or maybe..
Or maybe even..
Nah, that’s probably too far.
Better just stick with..
And if any of you are so upset that I had to take a paying gig with a real comic company working with a writer you don’t care for to keep the lights on, I’m more than happy to point you to:
1) Our sad-faced little DONATE button that’s to the right underneath every single comic we do.
2) Our STORE from whence you can buy Let’s Be Friends Again things.
3) My COMMISSION RATES which are basically always open and happy for your business.
For all of you that have been supportive and congratulated me, I cannot thank you enough and all I can say is I hope you like the book when it comes out.
Why are some theists so quick to claim that atheism is a religion? I would think they’d be happy to keep their distance. Do they want to ensure that atheists get the same excellent tax benefits? Concern for their well-being? I’m sure that must be it.
It couldn’t possibly be an attempt to redefine basic terminology in an effort to muddle clear conversation and bring down the level of argument to a point where it is indistinguishable from corn oil bikini wrestling. Nuh uh.
St. Groundhog's Day 2012
Do you know why Groundhog's Day is my favorite holiday? 1) Because nobody gets the day off, 2) because it's like, adorable, and 3) because it's SOME WEIRD GUYS IN TOP HATS THAT PULL A GROUNDHOG NAMED PHIL OUT OF A LITTLE HUT THAT THEY BUILT FOR HIM, CLAIM TO OBSERVE HIM DOING SOMETHING KIND OF UNOBSERVABLE, THIS IS AN ACTUAL THING THAT HAPPENS. I love it.
I guess it’s time to see if I can Kickstarter a humongous comprehensive ebook edition when I hit comic #3,000.
That strip he mentioned, number 3000? Number 2992 went up today and he updates like friggin’ clockwork, so you can expect it on Monday, 13 February 2012. Mark your calendars, bet the farm, bet the kid’s insulin money — it’ll be there, and then we’ll see what a 3000-comic collection looks like. My guess: pixelicious¹!
Speaking of countdowns to things happening on Monday the 13th: Reptilis Rex launches then. The mysterious protection-program participant known as “William Tallman” will be teaching us all about secrets of the lizard-men from the hollow earth. Looks educational.
Finally, in today’s BurleWatch™, sometime in the past 10-12 hours, the Order of The Stick reprint drive crossed the US$343,416 mark, making it one of the Top Ten of All Time Kickstarter projects. As of this writing, it’s nearly ten thousand dollars further on (US$355,223 to be specific), and probably in the 8th or better slot.
Near as I can tell, the top fundraiser of all time is this (admittedly cool) design project from December of 2010, with a total of US$942,578 from more than 13,000 supporters. I’m not quite sure that Burlew can hit those kinds of numbers, but he is more than a third of the way on both money and supporter count in about a third of his allotted time, so I’m not counting anything out at this point.
In Wanda's suite, a silver chocolate service sat upon a side table. When she'd boosted the tower, a few such nice little changes in design, decor, and accouterments had crept in from her mind's eye.
She left it there untouched. Talking to the Lady Temple this morning was not meant to be social, or even comfortable. She didn't so much as offer Delphie a chair. The Predictamancer stood, her hands folded in front of her and her lip buttoned tightly.
"We have Duties to perform this turn," said Wanda, "so I'll make this brief. I just spoke to Clay. I...had a question, and didn't much like his answer."
Delphie watched her face and remained silent, betraying nothing.
"It's a question that's been keeping me awake for several nights. What I don't understand," said Wanda, "is how Luck and Fate can coexist. If I am Fated to live, then I must be immune to Luckamancy. Cast any misfortune upon me, put me in any battle against any foe, and I will live until my Fate is fulfilled. Is that correct?"
Delphie cleared her throat and spoke in a low, careful tone. "Essentially, Lady."
"Then where is the Luck? Where is choice? And...what you would call my will?"
Delphie shrugged. "Choice is the path you pick to your Fate. Luck is mainly about how hard or easy you have it along the way."
Which is just what Clay had said, and Wanda didn't like it any better coming from Delphie's mouth. She knew that if she asked Delphie what would happen if she jumped from the tower, Delphie would only say, "You won't."
Wanda absently felt the lace trim of her boots with a gloved hand, trying to put her thoughts into words. She glanced at mirror-Wanda for strength. Oh, she did like this outfit, yes. It made Delphie nervous. It gave her new power.
...But no new clarity. Like Tommy and Father, Wanda refused to believe Delphie's philosophy that there was an inescapable destination simply waiting for her to get there. Each of the last few nights she had lain in bed, trying to frame her objections to it and failing.
She sighed. "Tell me about Olive," she said, taking a different tack. "What did you hope to accomplish? Why not just leave it to Fate to bring me to her?"
Delphie put her hand to her forehead, and smiled wistfully at the floor. "Oh, dear. I was making a choice of my own, I suppose. To ease your way into Olive's service." She looked up at Wanda with eyes resigned and sad, yet still accusing. "But your choices undid the effects of mine. You should have trusted me."
"Why," challenged Wanda. "What difference would it have made?"
Delphie looked beaten. She shook her head just slightly. "All the difference, Lady."
Wanda stepped toward Delphie, talking closely to her face. "My brother is gone, Predictamancer. His Fate has run its course. Everything that was to become of him is known to us." Delphie looked as if she wanted to speak, but Wanda kept her momentum. "So we know that all along, Tommy's Fate was to be croaked by Olive. And if we had taken the peace offer, then we would have been making the path to his Fate longer and more difficult, while making mine easier. Now where is the sense in that?"
Delphie glared at her. "No. You don't understand. Chief Tommy carried no such Fate."
"How can you say that? It was his Fate! We've seen it."
"It was his end, Lady," said Delphie. She looked pained. "Clay would say, his 'final outcome.' It was never his Fate. It could have been avoided. If we'd only signed the treaty and sent you to Haffaton, Tommy would probably be alive now."
Wanda clamped down on a sudden, deep need to slap the woman. For a moment, not striking Delphie's round face was all she could manage to do.
The Predictamancer, looking distressed, took it as a chance to continue. "I told you once. Not everyone walking these halls has a purpose. I cannot make Predictions about every unit, or commander, or even every ruler. Don't you see?" She looked at Wanda with tears starting to well on her lower lids. "You were to pop. And you were to be passed on. And once I saw Olive in the Magic Kingdom, I Predicted where you were to go. So, I told her. She understood. That's why they were so generous with their offer."
Wanda's clamp slipped. She hit Delphie in the cheek with an open, gloved hand. The caster cried out, and stumbled backward, landing on her rump upon the foot of Wanda's bed.
"She knew?!"
Delphie sat on the bed, stunned for a moment, then began to bawl. Wanda stood over her and yelled. "You approached the enemy, you let them know we had popped a caster, and you gave them more information about my Fate than you would share with your own side? Are you that disloyal?"
"I'm Loyal!" sobbed Delphie into her hands. "I'm ever so Loyal!"
"You lying ditch witch!" Wanda turned and stomped across the room, yelling to the air. "Loyal to what? To Fate? Not to Goodminton!"
"Yes! To Goodminton! It was the only way Goodminton could survive you," said Delphie, tears flowing freely down her face.
"You don't know that," Wanda said, pointing at her. "You never Predicted that."
Delphie kept sobbing into her lap. Her words were muffled by her hands. "No. I can't. Fate doesn't care about us. That's the terror of it; we have no Fate. The world doesn't care if we live or not. Only about you."
Wanda paced around. "It doesn't work that way, it doesn't work that way, it can't work that way, Delphie!" Tommy should be alive? She was trapped, while they were lost? Father was lost? No. "I could...buy some poison and drink it! What would Fate do, then? Huh? I could jump off this tower right now!"
Delphie looked at Wanda and shook her head. "Yes, you could. But you won't."
Just what Wanda had Predicted she would say.
She stopped in front of the mirror again. Mirror-Wanda and she both knew Delphie was right. Wanda was defiant. She would break her Fate somehow. But, she supposed, not today. Not that way. She took in a deep breath to calm herself.
"No," she said, with deep resignation, "not in this outfit."
Tycho:
Douglas Adams suggested in his opus that mice were not simply mice but rather the unassuming projections of a pan-dimensional race into our universe. I’ve met Daniel Cook before, wiry and lean, compact, an organism apparently designed for fold-up travel, and I wonder if there isn’t something similar going on with him.
If you’ve played Panda Poet or Triple Town, you’ve played his games. There is a very interesting (though perhaps “inside baseball”) account of his dealings with publisher 6waves that we have taken great care to summarize in today’s strip.
Gabriel wanted to know if I had
I envision a huge industrial-sized woodchipper, running day and night, somewhere in the middle of an enchanted forest. Almost every inch of it is stained blue.
St. Groundhog's Day Eve 2012
Do you know what the problem is with the Bahamas? Friggin' North Americans. Gross, fat, loud, tramp-stamped North Americans who are never happy with anything and don't even act right at home, and then cut loose when there's free drinks flowing like wine. Also it felt weird that it was like all black people serving mostly white people. But if you don't mind understanding why Americans have a bad reputation in some places (and I'm glaring at you too, Alberta, Canada) and weird slave-guilt, I can highly recommend the Bahamas. I saw a guy with a Calvin Peeing on a Ford Logo tattoo. But now we are back, and it is St. Groundhog's Day Eve. Let us bow our heads.
Answer: a whole damn lot. In the less than 24 hours since I last posted, Rich Burlew has added more than 500 supporters and US$63,000 to his already-impressive numbers so my prediction of tapering off to 325 large as a final tally? Busted. Let’s just shoot the moon and call it a cool half-mil. And yes, I know I said the widget was so I wouldn’t have to keep coming back to it. But it’s just so compelling.
I’m particularly glad to see A$L&ADS come back, as it may nicely fill the gap that will be left as Bucko hits its 102nd and final update, precisely filling one year with the self-described dick and fart joke murder mystery. At least, it started as a murder mystery, and it really turned into something much deeper. The journey that Bucko and his friends took was really about crossing the boundaries of enclaves (in this case, Portland hipsters) and learning about other tribal groups (bike fixers, steampunkers, Suicide Girls, juggalos, cops, and book fetishizers), each of whom was given that which we generally deny the Other: a chance to be seen as their own people, each with virtues and reasons to like them. Guys, this comic made me consider the possibility that juggalos are actually people and for that I will both thank and curse Erika Moen & Jeff Parker in equal measure.
I have just one quibble with Bucko, and it’s not forcing me to reconsider my prejudices regarding murder-clowns. It’s that the “murder mystery” part of the story kind of fell by the wayside. I mean, that dude is still dead in the bathroom (although presumably they moved the body), and it never got resolved. The Scooby Gang would have figured out it was the crooked land developer who stabbed the guy before making plans for group sex, not that that is a disturbing mental image in any way. Anyway, guy’s dead and the cops are too busy gettin’ it on in the cruiser, which means the ultimate lesson of Bucko is, Whatever life throws at you, make sure you sex it up, which you have to admit is a pretty good moral. Carry on, Parker & Moen, I rescind my complaint.
you know how you’re at work right now, but your grandfather is behind you and you know his head is one of those dried apple doll heads, but you can’t turn to look because you somehow know you’ll die if you do?
Over the weekend, the Wondermark calendar marked the eldritch holiday Y’haug’f’than, the day long foretold when forces beyond the imagination or comprehension of mankind crest a horizon of madness and slowly wind down the minutes remaining for all of human existence.
I’ve long felt that Y’haug’f’than is becoming a bit commercial of a holiday, so in an effort to respect the roots of the tradition by subjecting myself to deliberate pain, I underwent hernia surgery:
What about you? Leave a comment and tell us how you commemorated the weekend the air turned to ashes and our still-screaming flesh was melted from our brittle bones!
Mike Oscar can kill a man with a toothpick. Actually he doesn't even need the toothpick, but it's helpful for getting the gristle out of his teeth afterwards.
There is, on average, a presidential debate every fifteen minutes somewhere in the United States. They all begin to blur together after a while: noise, rhetoric and meaningless slander. They ought to get it over with and sell popcorn and giant foam fingers.
Wolverine and the X-Men is probably the best comic coming out of Marvel right now. Well, it and Fantastic Four. Well, it and Fantastic Four and Daredevil.
Alright, Marvel is kicking ass lately. Especially in light of the shit tornado spiraling out of DC most of the time. Did you read the new Justice League? It was a quip-off. Mother fuckers trying to outquip one another in every panel.
Darkseid’s secret weakness is shitty quips. Now we know.
The site also appears to be back to normal. We rode out of GoDaddy on flying horses, our comics cargo flying behind us. Blazing through the sky to the land of Dreamhost we dropped our goods off and set up shop. Hopefully you don’t experience anymore problems navigating stuff.
And the forums are back up too!
And we’re starting a mailing list! PLEASE SIGN UP FOR IT! We promise it’ll only be good stuff that you want to hear about! (Like the insane deals we can get you on dick pills.)
-cof
I’d also like to say that this comic would not have been possible without Joel Priddy teaching me how to draw tweed. He didn’t show me how or anything, he just wears it so much that I couldn’t help but learn what it looks like from him.
Also, in today’s Holy crap, did you see the OoTS Kickstarter? update, Rich Burlew has now exceed the previous highest-funded comics project on Kickstarter by nearly 150%, and is rapidly closing in on a quarter of a million friggin’ dollars after less than ten days. I’m putting the over/under at US$325,000, and the supporter tally at an even 5000 pledges. Of course, if the pledges get a second wind, we’ll see numbers that may take years to be equalled.
Now, to business³. Last week saw the debut of Jim Zubkavich’s Skullkickers on Keenspot, the news of which was previously discussed. Mr Zub has kindly agreed to answer some questions about the web-release version of SK, why the parallel channels for comics distribution, and what to expect in the future. But for those with impatient tendencies, here’s the money quote:
In our first week at Keenspot we had more unique IP visits (i.e.: new readers) than all three printings of Skullkickers #1 combined.
For full context, read on.
Fleen: Other creators have taken comics-on-paper and transitioned to the web as a means to spread their back issues to new audiences while maintaining a print line. Others have gone further and shiftedentirely creator-owned comics to online for first publication. Given that your experiment with Skullkickers online is a week old, any idea which direction you’ll end up taking?
JZ: It’s too early to say which strategy would work best for Skullkickers. We’re definitely releasing our new story arc through Image as issues starting in April. Once we see how well that does, and if the online serialization of older issues helps sales, then we’ll be better informed to make that kind of decision.
Fleen: From a logistical standpoint, what made you decide to go with Keenspot instead of using the Skullkickers domain you already had?
JZ: The Skullkickers website has become a catch-all place for people to find out information, get comic previews, see reviews, and find out about things like the upcoming Munchkin card game expansion. If Skullkickers continues to grow then I’d like skullkickers.com to be the hub for every aspect of it, not just comic pages.
If the Keenspot site picks up enough steam then it’s possible I’d redirect the .com address to it at some point and integrate the other material as part of the webcomic site. We’ll see how it goes. All of this is an experiment. I feel like it’s one that will help us grow, but it’s not a certainty.
Fleen: Skullkickers has a third story arc that’s getting ready to debut, and you’ve mentioned that the full story you want to tell would take six or seven arcs, if the sales could sustain it that long. Does the possibility of running the comic online without having to make the costs of printing / publishing / distribution make it more likely we’ll see that full story?
JZ: Yeah, it’s absolutely possible. I see the comic online as a way to engage new readers, bringing them onboard the story we’re building, showing them the great stuff we’ve already done and, day by day, make them a fan of the series. At that point it’s easy for them to get all caught up with our trade paperbacks, issues or digital comics if they’d like.
If the series keeps sustaining its creative costs, on any and all platforms, I’d be thrilled to tell the master story I have all planned out, dragging our monster mashing idiots all over the place wrecking every trope and setting imaginable as we skewer the grand-daddy of all fantasy stories, the “heroes of destiny” cliché.
I want people to enjoy Skullkickers and I’m not picky about how they’re doing that. In print or online – it’s all comics and it’s all viable. The divide between physical and digital media is breaking down in video, print and audio. They’re not really “webcomics” any more, they’re just comics.
Fleen: Okay, let’s talk about creative costs a little more. Creating/printing/publishing/distributing floppies of Skullkickers: considering all the people that need to be paid requires x number of readers buying the comic to just break even. You aren’t even making any money, you’re just paying everybody else associated with the book.
Creating/not printing/production work/hosting Skullkickers on the web: same deal, but this time you need y number of readers for the ad rates to hit that break even point. What’s the ratio of x/y? Any idea how many readers of the comics you have that aren’t actually buying it (e.g.: the entire population of Russia), who can now be contributing to your financial well-being?
JZ: As the web archive deepens, our pageviews will tend to go up because each new reader is getting caught up, contributing a whack of pageviews all in one day as they do so. Ad campaign payout rates also fluctuate a lot from month to month. Those two factors change the math of it quite a bit.
If we’re talking readers who are only reading the latest page every day and that’s it (1 pageview per reader per weekday) that number balloons quite a bit, as you might imagine. In that not-really-realistic scenario we’d need about 20+ times as many readers as we have right now in print to cover our monthly issues just in ad view payout money.
That sounds like a massive increase, and it is, but in our first week at Keenspot we had more unique IP visits (i.e.: new readers) than all three printings of Skullkickers #1 combined, so we’re off to a strong start out the gate.
My fingers are crossed that a combination of web pageview ad payouts, print comic sales, digital comic sales, trade sales and convention sales will work together to keep the series running strong so I can tell the entire story I have planned.
Fleen: If Skullkickers did shift to an only-print-the-trades model, would we still get those post-arc guest issues?
JZ: I intend to keep those going, yes. Our Tavern Tales collaborations are far too fun for us to skip out on. I’d be thrilled to get comic superstars like Scott Kurtz, Ryan North or Rich Burlew onboard for a Skullkickers Tavern Tale.
Fleen: We both know that you’re not going to answer, but I have to ask: when do we learn Baldy and Shorty’s real names?
JZ: They have names? Who told you that? :)
Fleen thanks Jim Zubkavich for his time, and also for comics that feature enormous slavering monsters getting kicked in the head because that’s awesome.
_______________
¹ Don’t call her “Tallahassee”. Just … don’t.
² Right-hand rule represent.
³ If you mentally pictured Mark Wing-Davies and David Dixon toasting To business!, I like the way you think.
have you guys seen this yet? i used to have another site, long ago, where i threw things at the wall and determined whether or not you like them. it was chainsawsuit before chainsawsuit. but now chainsawsuit is this thing you know already, so i’m throwing things at an all-new wall: chainsawsuit labs.
it’s in beta now, but soon i will add a way for you to contribute comics using the power of web you.0, an internet content platform i invented in 2008 before it was all the rage to crowdsource intellectual property. subscribe to the rss! come on back! read all the time friends for now
Hey, here’s a cartoon I did for the Phoenix. Look at it, if you don’t mind my aggressively-local sense of humor.
I’m an expert at this subject, but I will only share the location of my favorite townie bars with trusted individuals. All dives in my neighborhood are under constant threat of turning into hipster bars, so their locations have to be protected.
30 January 2012
Sorry that it's been another three weeks wait for a new strip. We've just bought a house, and my plate is pretty
full in other ways too. I hope you are all keeping well.
Out in the field, monotony was ice and rocks and endless road. At home, it was stairs.
Wanda and Clay trudged up them in silence. All Wanda could think to say about Clay's confession-under-duress was, "That is likely something you should keep to yourself, Luckamancer." It wasn't what he had wanted to hear.
Un-Tommy was waiting for Wanda at the base of the tower, having been recalled from the outer walls by her silent order. Her former brother stood motionless on the cobblestones beside her equally motionless former snow golem. Together, staring dumbly at nothing, the two made quite a pair.
Or was it three of them? Slouching there, indifferent to the cold wind, Clay looked almost as lifeless.
Was this what she did to people? Perhaps she should order un-Larry to report here, to complete this set of empty shells she was creating.
"Continue on up to your quarters," she ordered Clay. "Order the Lady Temple to meet me at my suite in one hour."
"Yes, Chief," said Clay. As shame-faced and longingly as he looked at her, he seemed relieved to be leaving her side.
She had animated him well, but un-Tommy was beginning to show small signs of decay. They'd seen no action here, and sought none afield since the air battle that ended their alliance. She knew that unlike Tommy, un-Tommy would be perfectly willing to stand there for all his remaining turns, then blow away to dust.
She put the uncroaked unit through some paces, to see what his capabilities were, and to give Clay time to get a few floors ahead of her. Then she ordered un-Tommy back to his post, and climbed up the stairs, stairs, stairs. Each dull step was a small moment lived, unremarkable and meaningless, but necessary to the progression of the climb.
---
Up in her small suite near the top of Minnow Tower, Wanda unpacked her new raiment and laid it out upon the bed. Teddy Clothespin, the Dollamancer who had sold it to her, had helped her create something out of the depths of her own desires and imagination. She looked at it, wondering if she even dared to put it on.
"Olay," she said, casting the minor Dollamancy spell that Teddy had taught her. The wrinkles in each piece went smooth, as the garment was restored to its new-turn condition.
Double-checking that her door was locked, Wanda stripped out of the suit she had worn since Goodfinger. She still loved the outfit for its elegance, and for its utter lack of resemblance to Goodminton's sombre raiment style. But it had been Olive's. And once she had it off, Wanda was sure she would never again put it next to her skin. Perhaps Teddy would buy it from her.
She pulled the white tights on first. Then she slipped the light, airy chemise over her head. The Dollamancer had modified her old riding gloves into long, chamois evening gloves with stealthy riding grips sewn into the palms. Her clunky boots he'd turned into shiny black thigh-highs topped with lace, but still reinforced in the feet and ankles for combat riding.
The entire outfit followed this philosophy of applying maximum possible style before function started to suffer. The slate blue jacket was cropped in length, with sleeves short enough to let her swing a staff in a fight. The bodice (which she now laced and pulled into a tight cinch around her waist) would keep her straight in the saddle. Even the decorative chain around her waist could be used as a bolo weapon if needed.
She stepped to the mirror to have a look.
The Wanda in the mirror needed a comb. Her hair seemed to have fallen limp after the warmth and humidity of the Magic Kingdom. No, better than a comb: a hat. Teddy had urgently wanted to add some headgear to the ensemble, but she had already spent more than was justifiable. Father had granted her a favor after they'd won the battle, and she'd asked for new raiment. But the treasury was dwindling. Shmuckers were tight.
She felt through her satchel, looking for a clip or tie-back. Her hand fell on the message hat, shrunken down as small as it would go. Hm. She took it out and resized it to fit her head, and it looked much worse than nothing. A top hat with this dress took all the femininity out of it, and made the whole outfit absurd. The obnoxious Foolamancer she'd met in the Magic Kingdom couldn't have picked a worse match to wear. She threw the hat on the bed, and looked at mirror-Wanda ruefully.
But a weird thought emerged out of her frustration. She picked the hat back up, resized it to the dimensions of a teacup and saucer, and stuck it to her head at a jaunty angle.
It worked. Mirror-Wanda knew it worked. The hat even knew it worked. It stayed right in place via the natural Dollamancy (or was it natural Hat Magic?) of just belonging there.
Mirror-Wanda turned her head with a sly, approving smile, and Wanda felt she had taken one further step toward becoming that woman. Yes, her brother was lost, and her side was still friendless and desperate. The fact that she had acquired new clothing was unremarkable and meaningless. But it was another small, necessary moment lived in the progression of the climb.
There was a knock upon her door.
NOTE! My friend since college Barb Fischer is the writer for the roller-derby webcomic Sledgebunny. She's also done costuming. I had to bring her in to help with this update because I am clueless about women's clothing.
Xin came up with a Gothic Loli outfit for Wanda, but neither of us knew how to describe it. Xin drew the exploded diagram above for Barb, who wrote me a paragraph describing this outfit. I almost completely rewrote the paragraph, but I couldn't have done this update without her help. Xin will probably kill me for posting the sketch here, because it definitely wasn't drawn for the public. But I had to split this update and I didn't want to tease the outfit too much. The next update will be the conversation with Delphie that this one was supposed to be, with the illustration that was supposed to go with it.
Splish splash she was takin' a bath! Or swimming. How clean you're able to get in the sea is doubtless down to how dirty you were before you got in it.
WE DON'T NEED NO QUEER BRITISH KIDS SINGING THE CHORUS FOR SOME REASON
ALL IN ALL WE'RE ALL JUST AN OVERRATED SONG
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Tycho:
Gabriel the Younger expressed intense delight at the prospect of Minecraft Lego, a state of affairs his father could not entirely understand. A member of the forums awaits with great anticipation the inevitable Lego Minecraft videogame. This is the Circle of Life; one can very nearly hear Elton John.
I didn’t even know about any extra quests or whatever in Kingdoms of Amalur with new copies, but learning that such a thing exists isn’t as startling to me as it is to other sentients. The version of Kingdoms of Amalur we have contains no DLC code, it was just
It's kind of tragic, really, because in many ways Stan is actually the lunch lady's ideal man. But he's allergic to fry oil, so it never would have worked out between them.