FACT.
I've got three guest comics going up in August. One of them is particularly epic. STAY TUNED!
FACT.
I've got three guest comics going up in August. One of them is particularly epic. STAY TUNED!
New Cyanide and Happiness Comic.
http://www.GiantITP.com/comics/oots0739.html
Friday. Last day off work of vacation, weekend a-comin’. Let’s do this.
Originally run as a B&W webcomic, 8 Ways is now fully colored and available as an e-book, with print coming next month. This is how you teach somebody about your culture, cause, or goal — organically, with a bit of humor, and remembering that people are people. Over-the-top cliched demonization? That just gets you laughed at. Not “with”. At.
Tycho: Child's Play is incredibly vast, so vast that - even though Gabriel and I ostensibly created it - it extends far beyond our influence. That's how it had to be: in order for it to endure, it needs its own strength. But it's still surprising for me to realize the extent of its autonomy sometimes. The toy drive used to be the focus, but Child's Play is a banner now for a broad array of charitable impulses. For example. Gears of War is soliciting feedback on a story point - namely, whether or not this game's Carmine will survive. You ...
Axe Cop and Dr. McNinja execute their plan now that they are both ninjas.
action champ walkaway doesn’t mean to blow things up, he’s just built for destruction
also in real life that is not a valid excuse for property damage or wife explosion
Of course the day I post this is the first one in weeks where it’s pleasant and not humid.
And yeah, one heat have, even one that seemingly lasts for months, is not evidence of climate change. It’s the frequency and severity over years that determines that, along with the sweatiness of my ass.
Next Week: Anti-Immigrant Stupor
Brandon Bird has posted all of the pieces from the “These Are Their Stories” Law & Order-themed art show, including my very own (detail pictured above).
I particularly like “Sugar Daddy Suspected of Murder”, “A Rich Man And His Very Young Daughter Are Shot” and Brandon’s own “A Complicated Murder Case”.
The show is on display right now at Gallery Meltdown in Hollywood, but today is the last day!
New Comic: Blood And Oil, Part Four
Tycho: Blood And Oil. Part Four. One more to go. I met a guy from DigiPen many years ago - eventually he quit the school, but found his way into the industry regardless. Before meeting him, I thought that Starcraft was a game where you built up your defenses and then teched up to the weird shit and then fought your opponent in the middle of the map somewhere. Watching him play that game - a game I owned, and played, and thought I knew - practically ruined the genre for me. I wouldn't see shit like that again until the ...
Tom the Dancing Bug for Friday, July 30, 2010
Sciencemaster Adler doesn’t seem too pleased with yesterday’s press conference. We’re getting dangerously close to a storyline here, please vote one of these fellows off the island so I can go back to molecule-of-the-day gags.
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
There's a Venn Diagram out there with a huge overlap between Singularity believers and guys who are just single.
Jamais Cascio is not in that overlap. He's one of the few people I know that I'll actually admit is smarter than me in writing!
We'll be back to normal comics Monday.
Phil Plait, the Bad Astronomer, is gonna have a TV show on Discovery. A science TV show! With actual science! Check it out!
TV on (the) Internet
Man, is anything worse than when the news talks about the Twitter? Or credits something to the Youtube? Maybe there are a few things worse than that, but not many. It's honestly the equivalent of anyone over 30 describing something as "the bomb" unironically.
Gettin back into it, I am kinda excited to make comics again! Need more time.
Okay so maybe you don't make your flavoured gelatin products in open-bottom vats in your giant sky ship, but maybe a feral band of renegade Sky Dwellers would! In fact, they do. And it is intended, originally, to make suddenly arriving on the ship more comfortable. Doesn't mean the folks are welcome to visit.
Not much of a voting reward today. oh well.
Ludwig von Robotnik suggested: The sky ship is falling!
Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations
Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!
[[ The sky ship is held up by a long arm. ]]
[[ Rabid is floating in goo, I guess he wasn't squashed! ]]
[[ Rabid swims toward the light. ]]
Li'l Beefy: It's cherry flavour!
Rabid: KAF
<< SPLUT >>
Dr Quickly: I guess we're expected!
<< SCCHLLUCK >>
Li'l Beefy: nom
Rabish: Or we ruined dessert...
<< SPLUT >>
They had their first argument two hexes upriver from the bridge. It was about the word “rescue,” and it ended with Ansom riding upside down for a while.
The megalogwiff could shift a prisoner around within its huge gummy body. It might do this of its own will, or at the order of its rider. Jillian chose to fly on for a while with Ansom’s reddening head poking out from the underbelly of her enormous mount. If he had anything further to declare from down there, it would be mercifully muffled.
It failed as much of a punishment, though. Immediately after that, the stack passed through three hexes of rain showers. Ansom was dangling below, but he was dry. The group hunkered in their saddle-perches. Duncan read her look, and knew to fly close and shut up. The formation stayed tight.
Eventually, they flew out from under the clouds and entered a sunny hex. Clear of enemy units. Jillian sighed through her nose.
What was she doing? Receding away at her back was the battle she had come so far to fight. And at such a huge risk! But...
Was that really the battle she had come to fight? She felt like she had already fought her part of it.
And she won, right? She walked away from Wanda. And she took Ansom back from her. That was the right move. It was.
Disband it, it was!
So what if he didn’t feel “rescued?” And he was loyal to Wanda. So what? She knew that. So flippin’ what! It didn’t mean he was a mindless drone, like Jetstone always claimed. Ansom was no Uncroaked. She could tell. He was still Ansom. He still had his mind.
And if that mind was under Wanda’s power, then he could be forgiven. He should be pitied, in fact. She had been there herself, many times. Wanda was a force.
Yeah, well. So was Queen Jillian of Faq. She stomped her mount’s rubbery armor plate. “Get him up here!”
There was a bit of yaw in their flight as the mount shimmied Ansom’s body around the side. His stoic, unamused face rotated around toward her, as he was squeezed and kneaded up over the beast’s yellow horizon. His head was all that protruded from the megalogwiff’s body, and the beast slid it up and under an armor plate in front of her perch.
The Prince (ex-Prince?) stared up at her. His jaw and lower lip were set like the prow of a galleon. His stubborn blue eyes held her gaze. Disband him for still being so handsome, anyway.
“I want to tell you something,” she said. The wind in her face was stern and chilly, and she matched her tone to it. “You had a price on your head. You know that?”
“Of course I had,” said Ansom. “Is there a kingdom which doesn’t stand against us?”
She shook her head. “Not a kingdom. Charlie,” said Jillian. “The price on your head was probably a kingdom, though.”
Ansom scowled. “I don’t understand.”
She told him about Sammy, and what her exchange with him had meant, just before Ansom felled him. “I didn’t come here to dust you. And I didn’t intend to let it happen, if I could help it. Charlie...I guess had other ideas. But he doesn’t usually like to get directly involved in fights unless someone hires him. So I’m trying to figure out what he did to Haggar to lean on them, and why.”
Pinned in the gummy niche below the armor plating, Ansom’s head made a weak side-to-side motion. “I cannot imagine.”
“I can,” said Jillian. “And if it’s what I think, then I don’t know if I can keep doing any kind of business with him.” She glanced over at Vanna, riding the megalo to her right. She couldn’t afford to keep a caster on her own right now, but she would still need Vanna around to work on turning Ansom. She really couldn’t break ties with Charlie, not while he was footing the bill for her. Maybe after she sacked some of Stanley’s cities she would have some leeway. But then, she’d also have a Royal heir’s upkeep soon. A daughter or son...
“What do you think he was doing?” Ansom looked no less rigid, but he seemed curious now.
“He’s a Thinkamancer, right? Kind of? I guess.” Jillian bit her lip. There were things you knew you shouldn’t say, even as you felt the words coming out of your mouth. “I don’t know what he is. But he does Thinkamancy. And I think he was trying to...remove a distraction. From me.”
Ansom looked at her without any indication he followed her line of thought.
She cleared her throat. “Natural Thinkamancy,” she said. He made another vain attempt to shake his head, the goo of the megalo’s body tugged at his ears.
Jillian rolled her eyes. “Love, you idiot.”
“Oh,” said Ansom.
“Yeah, ‘oh,’” she snapped. “He reads minds, and he’s a weasel. I wouldn’t put it past him. ...What?”
Ansom’s brow was wrinkled. He looked at her almost sadly.
“I was that much-- I was that severe a tactical distraction?”
Jillian looked at him for a long moment, not knowing what to say.
“Here we are, aren’t we?” she said at last.
He had no reply. She looked out at the distant hills and took in a deep breath of cold, clean air. She let it out slowly, through puffed cheeks. “You need to go below again. I’m gonna call Charlie.”
New Cyanide and Happiness Comic.
For reals, there is almost nothing guaranteed to make me smile as much as Kate Beaton’s take on Wonder Woman. And with it comes the news that she’ll be contributing to Marvel’s Strange Tales II anthology. Let’s see what else is coming up, shall we?
Iron Artist
Friday, 8-9 PM, Panel 2
One of the people running it is Jessi Bavolack, creator of Geeks Next Door and contributor to the CCP; one of the competitors, Del Borovic, is also associated with the CCP. Baird is also competing as one of the non-artist contestants “to make everyone else’s art look better in comparison.”
Happy Hyper Hentai Drawing Party
Friday, 10:30 PM-12:30 AM, Workshop 2
Specific leaders of this include Filthy Figments‘ Gina Biggs, Jennie Breeden, and Kittyhawk, plus Erin Ptah and Kuroitenshi.
Make a Manga Tournament!
Saturday, 7-10 PM, Workshop 1
Kittyhawk, Erin Ptah, and Kuroitenshi will be helping out Baird.
Manga, Literacy, and Children
Sunday, 12-1 PM, Panel 1
Axe Cop and Dr. McNinja come up with a plan.
The fire sped up and complicated the move we had planned for August 1st, which is why the lights have been out here at BFW for the past few weeks. We’re finally settled in at our new digs in Jamaica Plain, and I’m cranking out work and shipping merch that was ordered during the move. Check back tomorrow for a brand new cartoon!
I’m going to miss Davis Square and its abundance of burritos, but JP has been my second home for nearly three years, and in my opinion, it’s Boston’s best neighborhood, in spite of its flammability.
It seems like there’s a new cosmology just about every day. There are so many you can choose whichever one you want! Customize it to serve your purposes — mine has two Big Bangs and a large fries, and the gravitational constant is a neat and tidy 3.
Come back tomorrow for the further adventures of Sciencemaster Adler! I can’t imagine he’ll be pleased with all the press Sciencemaster Gunter is getting.
Important!
San Diego 2010 Part Five: The Airplanes
Slowly getting back to normal, thanks for your patience everyone. Thanks to this comic's guest stars Wondermalki ! and Ryan North, who endured many, many airplane landings out just south of the back balcony at Party Mansion.
Also hello Miss Hannah Minx, sorry I didn't know who you were at Comic-Con but now I do. Lessons in education.
Actually, the question of Clango's operating system was answered waaaaaaaayyy back in DS #25. One hundred Internet points to anyone who remembers that far back.
Tomorrow: the biggest question of all.
New Cyanide and Happiness Comic.
http://www.GiantITP.com/comics/oots0738.html
By the time I get through all the stuff I brought home (purchased, given, and would have been given but Gina Gagliano told me it would be waiting for me when I got home and she was right)¹ from San Diego, webcomics will be over, done, a quaint form of amusement from Ye Olde Dayes. So in the meantime, here’s what’s going on:
This, I think, is what web/indy comics allow that print/corporate comics don’t — the ability to wrap up a story or strip, or turn it into something completely different, and let the creator not get subsumed by the creation. Look back at the early days of comic strips, and you’ll find creators that let one strip finish and another take its place all the time. Today, get into the papers with a big enough hit and that’s it — you’re locked in forever (I believe the legal term is in perpetuity) and long after you’re dead, something you thought might last for a decade is still be put together by the former assistants of former assistants or children and grandchildren.
The ability to change direction, try an experiment on a whim, or get out on top and do something new? I think that flexibility is the unique characteristic that answers Valerie D’Orazio’s concern that webcomics might have come and gone. Les webcomics sont morts, vive les webcomics.
[T]here are a couple of us in print comics, also trying to make a go of web comics as well. Karl Kerschel, me, Skottie Young has given it a go. I’ve always been taught not to take one path-diversify. Web and print aren’t opposite ends, they are different venues.
And I’ll have to say that this confusion is more on me than on Brad Guigar. I was typing as fast as I could, but answers were condensed and I’m pretty sure that if we asked Guigar for a clarification of his position, it would be that no one creation is both print- and webcomics; certainly a given creator can work in both worlds. Fleen apologizes for the confusion.
In August, Octopus Pie is going back to a 3-a-week update schedule. …[M]ainly comes down to productivity. I know I can do way more pages on a self-imposed deadline.
Finally, various game licenses are expected to be released in 2011: the Girl Genius ‘The Works’ card game is in for a reissue, and iPhone and Facebook games are in development.
Tomorrow: catching up with all the emails.
_______________
¹ You can find these fine wares from the following cool people.
|
2010-07-28 09:53:39
have been pasting a few comics around chicago, took a while for any to get spotted. not sure how i feel about "irl lol" would guess that i feel strange. i hope that you feel all right |
The plot thickens as Axe Cop and Dr. McNinja's team up continues.
The plot thickens as Axe Cop and Dr. McNinja's team up continues.
New Comic: Blood And Oil, Part Three
Tycho: I've got more blood for you, and also more oil, in the ongoing series we're calling Blood And Oil - here's part three. This is a guest work; we did not draw or write this. I'm not entirely certain we could. Weird features like Dragon Quest IX's "Canvass Mode" or The World Ends With You's "Truly Crazy Button Selling Thingamajig" are well suited to Japan, where mass transit is a thing that exists, though I'd imagine that you could do pretty well in Europe also. In the United States, the best scenario for passive trades is probably at conventions, during ...
News/Article
Space Wizards and Space Sorcerers have been enemies for 10,000 millenia. One time, a Sorcerer and a Wizard both fell in love with the same beautiful Space Unicorn. The unicorn was fairly liberal and was okay with polyamory. The Space Wizard said he was down with it but in truth was extremely jealous and conflicted about whether or not his feelings for the Unicorn constituted bestiality. Long story short, the Sorcerer ended up sleeping with the Wizard’s sister and everything was super-awkward after that.
Now it is time for me to go read the new Overcompensating book and remember good times on rooftops. You should read it too!
Enjoy your nudity!
Also, speaking of lady geeks (sheeks?), I forgot to mention that the most recent SMBC Theater features a cameo by Katie's old asthma inhalers.
San Diego 2010 Part Four, Notes to Self
Here is a hastily-drawn set of memories mostly for my own use.
This comic follows directly on Monday's, pretty much.
Vote at top web comics to see what today's comic almost was: a Classic Transmitter retelling of Super Mario Bros. 3?!
Ludwig von Robotnik suggested: The sky ship is falling!
Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations
Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!
Rabish: I've got one of those too!
[[ At the Secret Temple. ]]
Rabid: These holes are the same size as our geegaw orbs.
Rabot: So what happens when we put them in?
Dr Quickly: Let's find out!
<< RRRRRRRRUMBLE >>
[[ The temple is a big hand! ]]
[[ It stretches into the sky! ]]
[[ Towards the sky ship! ]]
<< WHUD >>
Ahoy! I'm picking the best (and most answerable in the form of a joke) questions you guys asked me and doing answers in comic form. These are really fun to write and start today.
New Cyanide and Happiness Comic.
Where Did July Go?
Holy heck. I don't know if I've been too brain-dead to get a comic done for midnight in a few YEARS. I guess being out of town for 21 days, driving 5,000 miles and working a Comicon in a crowd of 100,000+ in succession is a little too much for one dude. Still didn't skip a day though. That would mean I died.
I'm heading out for cybernetic enhancements and will be back to normal broadcasting this evening. Reader question comics will either start tonight or Monday, inspiration willing.
Axe Cop and Dr. McNinja go on a mission.
Axe Cop and Dr. McNinja go on a mission.
I Was a Cat
Not Again!
Whew. I'm finally home from twenty-one days out of the house driving, touring and doing the most insane of all Comicons. I'll be back with a comic around lunchtime tomorrow. Just need a few hours sleep first to piece my brain back together and we'll be good to go.
i have respect for these guys even if we sometimes got into online fights or disagree
i met stephan pastis, lalo alcaraz, tom gammill, ted rall and saw brooke mceldowney and some other important guys doing comics for a lot longer than me that look a lot better than chainsawsuit
well, in most cases
Tommy Esparole is pretty dreamy and you’ll notice little Suzie never denies her attraction to him. I suspect Julie may be on to something. Further investigation is required!
Just flew home from SDCC and boy are my ramjets tired. Going to go crash now, I’ll try and share the relevant details with you tomorrow.
Whee! It's hard to believe it's been a year of SMBC Theater, but we finally have a freakin DVD. For this first one, if you buy a hard copy, we'll autograph it and include some stickers.
I had an amazing time at SDCC this year. I could write a lot about it, but I think this blog entry pretty much sums it up. One of the biggest pleasures of my cartooning "career" in the last few years has been meeting awesome people, and Phil Plait is one of my favorites. He gave me a freakin' meteorite! From space!
New Cyanide and Happiness Comic.
SDCC wears more heavily on my aged, stooped body every year, so please forgive the lateness of this post; it’s also going to be a big one, to cover my travel tomorrow, and then I can see about actually reading webcomics again. I’ve fallen a bit behind in the last five days.
Weiner and Ashby presented me with a copy of SMBCT’s first DVD compilation, and it looks like an hour and a half of pure, distilled fun. I can’t say for certain, since the netbook that I’m travelling with has no optical drive, but it’s getting watched at the first opportunity. Weiner also shared the news that one of his previous projects (Captain Excelsior, with Chris Jones on art) is getting a book release via IDW — look for it in October, or heck, just pre-order it now.
The panel was held in a room with a posted capacity of 500, and was pretty much full up; however, it became apparent during the panel that a portion of the audience were camping out for a LOST panel that was being held next in the room. This earned multiple digressions onto the topic of LOST by Kurtz, each of which led to at least one forlorn LOSTie slinking out of the room, presumably upset by spoilers. That was awesome.
Question: Given that producing comics updates regularly and in quantity is important, is it viable to do updates occasionally in big chunks?
Khoo: It’s important to do updates at short enough intervals to keep readers coming back to your site on a regular basis.
Kurtz: I agree, but every so often somebody violates that rule and does great at it.
Guigar: I thought about this a long time, and came to the conclusion that your updates have to be frequent, consistent, and significant to readers; if you can do it monthly and provi… WOOOP
Question: Does drama in the community have a positive or negative effect on your fanbase? Can you use it to drum up …
Kurtz: FUCK YOU DUDE, FUCK YOU. YOU WANNA GO? LET’S GO, RIGHT NOW. For me it works because I’m just being myself, unfortunately. I get passionate and start stupid fights about things that don’t matter. Come to my booth, meet my dad and you’ll find out why … WOOOP
Question: What are some of the pros and cons of hooking up with a group of webcomics that acts as publisher?
Guigar: In any situation like that, each person needs to decide what is best for them. You have to figure out how to get into those arrangements, and most importantly, know how and when to get out of it.
Kurtz: And what’s the light in the center of the island? They never tell you. NEXT.
Question: What’s your feeling on motion comics?
Kurtz: Has Neal Adams left the room? I don’t like ‘em. Do comics or animation, but don’t try to work in between.
Khoo: For a creative person to envision something as a motion comic, great, as long as it doesn’t hurt the experience of the reader.
Question: Webcomics and motion comics are very different, do you see them developing along different lines?
Kurtz: I need time — twenty seconds is not fair! Okay, when you animate and have time as a component of the medium, it’s completely different than when reader has control over how time progresses in the story and their contribution …
Khoo: What about if that’s how it was designed?
Kurtz: … but not when you have a comic made into a motion comic.
Question: How long did it take to build up a fanbase to the point that here you are, on a panel at Comic-Con?
Guigar: That progress takes place over years; I started doing panels like six years ago, but I had nothing to say until a few years ago.
Khoo: It varies from property to property; xkcd exploded from nothing to huge over a period of about six months. With Penny Arcade, it was a couple of years.
Kurtz: They all died on the island, Jack died next to the dog, SPOILERS.
Question: I’ve been seeing free comics moving to paid smartphone apps. Do you see this becoming profitable market?
Khoo: Our idea would not be to make a mirror of what’s on the Penny Arcade website. Our idea would be something to provide an added value … WOOOP
Kurtz: See, twenty seconds is not long enough.
Khoo: I was done! “provide an added value”, done.
Question: What are the best ideas for monetizing webcomics?
Guigar: In order, I’m dealing with books, then ad revenue, then other merchandise.
Khoo: At Penny Arcade, we base the income on merch, ads, creative services, and “other”; it’s all about diversifying your sources of income.
Kurtz: Merch, turnkey ads, and riding PA’s coattails, letting their ad team sell for me.
Kurtz: Oooh, pret-ty lady. Helllooo … WOOOP
[Editor's note: she did get to ask her question, but my notes are a little bit messed up so I won't guarantee hers was the next one.]
Question: How do you feel about changing a comic after it’s published?
Guigar: Unless you’re fixing a typo, I’m against it; it’s published, move on.
Kurtz: I never change content after it’s posted; it’s already gone through so many permutations in getting to the post, it’s not worth working it further.
Khoo: The only time we’ve done that is with the Strawberry Shortcake strip. We received a legal request, it wasn’t worth arguing over, it came down.
[Editor's note: and fortunately for American Greetings, nobody can ever see the Penny Arcade Strawberry Shortcake strip ever again.]
Question: What are your feelings on comics dependent on audience participation; for example, Scenes From A Multiverse has a voting component.
Khoo: I think it’s cool
Kurtz: Yeah, that’s cool, but couldn’t ever do that because I’m a control freak.
Guigar: I think all comics are dependent on audience participation and this is just a more obvious mechanism.
Question: What are value-add features for the Penny Arcade mobile app?
Khoo: You have to understand the key demographics of your audience — what are they interested in? That drives what can add value.
Kurtz: I rushed my app out, and I don’t know what to do with it now.
Guigar: I’m still working on mine.
Question: What’s the most significant legal problem you see for creators?
Khoo: Mostly IP violations, with other people stealing your stuff and making money off that.
Kurtz: A lot of people don’t understand that when you put something online, it’s not okay to be just replicate it. The most important thing is that you can’t stop that from happening, you have to deal with it when it happens.
Guigar: A lot of times that kind of copying comes not out of spite, but of love, and you have to take those people aside and say please don’t do that.
Question: How do you balance quality and quantity?
Kurtz: I give a lot of good stuff. Do both everyday.
Guigar: I used to opine that you have to update five times a week no matter what; but then Robert told me At Penny Arcade, we decided we could give them hamburger every day, or steak three times a week.
Khoo: Did I say that?
Guigar: Yes.
Khoo: That was very insulting, I’m sorry.
Guigar: That’s when I went to my goal of frequent, consistent, and significant, and everybody can meet those criteria differently.
Khoo: That’s important because you can burn out by pushing yourself too much.
Question: What do you think about comics whose end goal is the graphic novel, and they post their work in progress for input, sort of looking for 5000 critics before publishing?
Guigar: I have a hard time listening to one critic; 5000 sounds like a nightmare.
Khoo: What happens if nobody comments?
Kurtz: It’s an interesting way to get daily content.
Khoo: I think it’s just a marketing ploy.
Guigar: I wouldn’t want that many people with their fingers in my work.
Question: You made a distinction earlier between going it alone versus working with a publisher. Do people that go it alone hit a certain readership level and that’s when publishers come, and does that give you more leverage to keep ownership?
Kurtz: You can do both — I’ve been with Image for years, and I have ownership of my work.
Khoo: And isn’t that convenient for publishers? They no longer have to risk time and resources wondering if they’ll be able to find an audience for a property, if it comes with one that’s already been established.
Question: When you were first getting started, what was the biggest hurdle you encountered?
Guigar: Sticking with it, staying creative, wanting to keep working with so few people reading.
Kurtz: Maintaining the schedule despite there being no money or guarantee anybody would like it.
Khoo: Keeping myself active on the business end, pushing myself to keep cold calling videogame companies. I remember one day at the beginning, I’d quit my job to work with Mike and Jerry, and I’m just lying in bed looking up wondering if I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. Then I got up and started calling around again.
Question: Going back to people taking your content, were you aware of how you have to protect your work always, and is that likely to change?
Kurtz: I know the real important part is ability to trade under your chosen name, mark, and brand; that’s trademark. Copyright is different.
Khoo: It’s very complicated, and would take a lot more than twenty seconds to answer properly; We aggressively protect ourselves from people trying to make money off our marks, otherwise we see it as a form of community enabling.
[Editor's note: There was a brief back and forth with several audience members who had been at one of the Comic Book Law School sessions on this topic; practical upshot: trademarks must be aggressively defended to avoid creating an easement, but copyrights don't to the same degree.]
Question: Do you have opinions about having a soundtrack or music playing during the comic?
Khoo: It’s a great idea if you have the rights; otherwise just post a playlist.
Kurtz: There are artists have listings of music that goes with their comics — Chynna Clugston, Bryan Lee O’Malley.
Guigar: I’ve got a comic strip, so there’s not enough to have soundtrack for the few seconds it takes to read.
Question: Readers having input on your work is a given — they have things they want to see in your strip. How often do you find fan input ends up sparking ideas in you?
Kurtz: Beeswax, Nunya, Incorporated. It’s happened. I’ve also had people come up to me and describe their favorite strips, and it’s not something I wrote. They just remember it as if it had happened.
Guigar: It’s something you love to see, because it means that readers are invested, but you don’t want to override what you had planned anyway.
Question: What are your biggest influences?
Kurtz:: Robert, I want to hear your influences, EF Hutton, Merrill Lynch, the Monopoly guy? Okay, first influence: my parents, and George Lucas.
Guigar: Primarily Berke Breathed; afterwards John Byrne, and John Buscema.
Kurtz:: Peanuts, Peanuts, Peanuts.
Khoo: I read an extraordinarily large amount of Peanuts, Calvin & Hobbes, and Bloom County.
Question: Are there any kinds of artifacts that work in print comics, but not on the web?
Guigar: Longform on the web would do well to stop thinking in terms of pages, but rather think in terms of updates; how long to get to significant story point you need to make, that’s your update. If it’s one panel, it’s one panel. If it’s two pages, then you have to do two pages.
Question: One of the things I love about webcomics is the direct connection between creator and audience. How has that relationship evolved for you over time?
Kurtz: We love each other, then we hate each other, we had a little breakup. I saw another audience for a while, then I saw the original audience in a bar and we had angry makeup sex. I think I take things super personally, so I have had bad moments where I got angry and caused problems. I’ve gotten mad and taken down whole forums, and yeah, it’s just a bunch of posts, but people start to feel like its their place and if you just take it away from them that’s very aggressive. That’s worse that not revealing what Jacob is on LOST, which THEY NEVER DO.
Guigar: For me, in beginning it was hard to get my readers to be responsive, and it was a matter of finding out how they wanted to respond to me.
Khoo: Our policy is that readers are why we are there.
Question: Penny Arcade has a lot of influence on the videogame industry; is there ever any flak that comes back at you?
Khoo: Yeah, absolutely, but I think we sort of beat into them it’s better to be friends than to raise a stink over one game we didn’t like. But yeah, we burned a lot of bridges. You can consider Penny Arcade a political cartoon in the videogame industry.
Kurtz: I think the overall feel is that even when people disagree, they respect me for being able to speak my opinion. If you’re genuine, it’s important.
Question: How do you keep up creative energy when you hit one of those humps?
Guigar: Routine — I train myself to keep to a routine, and sometimes if I break the routine just a little it spurs the creative juices. It could be just getting up and taking a walk.
Question: Webcomics don’t have safeguards that print have, in terms of editors, keeping it safe, things like that; how often do you experience people saying “I’m offended”, and then you get emails from Scott Kurtz saying, But I don’t drink breast milk from the tap?
Kurtz: Okay, don’t time this. All I said was if my wife were pregnant and producing milk, I would have a taste out of curiosity, it’s not like I’m going from woman to woman up and down the street sampling the differences and my father is in the audience so thank you.
Actual answer: all humor is at somebody’s expense, so it’s always somebody’s turn in the box.
Question: Videogames are a focal part of your comics; do you ever get a demand to play certain games to get jokes from them?
Khoo: People try to get their stuff in the strip but that cannot happen; Mike and Jerry cannot ever be affected by the business end.
Question: Do you keep a buffer for times of creative block?
Kurtz: I have no strip for Monday and fly out 8:30am.
Guigar: I keep a 2 to 3 week buffer and SDCC takes a big chunk out of that.
Khoo: To keep the strip topical, no. The only time they work ahead is for conventions.
Question: You’ve developed things like PAX and Child’s Play; what directions do you want Penny Arcade to develop in?
Khoo: When it comes to balancing art and business, it’s simple: we have an audience, we need to create products for them, it’s all built around them. There are other things built for that demographic that will be released.
Kurtz: Art and business? I can’t keep it all in my head; I’m trying, but I’m working on a strip and I have to stop for a couple of hours to do some business thing and it just pulls me right out of the creative end. I just hired somebody to help with that stuff so I don’t have to.
Guigar: That’s really a time management issue, to keep it from going too far one way or the other.
Whew — that was a lot. Guigar, Khoo and Kurtz continued the discussion in a midnight open Q&A, with much of the conversation on the topic of Webcomics Dot Com, essentially confirming earlier speculation that it’s not so much a website as a professional organization built around the exchange of information and the benefits for members. Big ones are coming in the immediate future, and really big ones (say, health insurance) remain a goal in the longer term.
Okay, that’s it for now. See you on Wednesday.
Tycho: The new Episode of PATV went up on Friday, but I forgot to link it, because my mind body connection had been severed. It is good, and funny, and good! Please to enjoy. Also, strip's up as well. It's fucking incredible. (CW)TB
The first page of the Axe Cop and Dr. McNinja team up story.
The first page of the Axe Cop and Dr. McNinja team up story.
26 July 2010
Hi everyone. The next update will be on Monday 16th of August, as I'm off to do a bit of
camping and visiting. I'm going to take a sketchbook and pens and hope to have some drawings to share when I come back.
Be well in the meantime.
New Comic: Blood And Oil, Part Two
Tycho: It may be wise if, going forward, you think of the ongoing Blood & Oil series as something which needs to slow roast; the strip will be here, but the RSS feed will be your best friend regarding updates to the site. Once again: Blood & Oil is an Automata story written by Gary Whitta and powerfully realized by Ben Caldwell. It's in five parts, running all this week and into next Monday. Buckle up. My psyche is always so abraded by the social onslaught of a convention - I'm not entirely certain we're built to see this many faces in ...
you know, i think i really (will have) learned something about myself, and (will have) made some new friends along the way. and it’s great that i made (considerably less than) $70k (but enough to have made it worth it again next year even if i get grouchy if i’m up later than 11)
(because that’s what it all boils down to, is not getting to go to bed at a reasonable hour)
The way I drew my dad in today’s comic was heavily informed by a caricature Lar DeSouza did of him during the show. It was a highlight of Comicon for dad and we all were enamored with the piece.
Thanks Lar. He brought it home and is going to frame it.
Frank and Beans! I’d personally love to see more of these guys, if only to fuck with them a little. Just a little, they’re nice enough.
SDCC was amazing! Thanks to everyone who stopped by and made it such a success, I had no idea there were so many SFAM readers out there! I am travelling home today and then I will pass out for two days. Please, someone set an alarm.
This Friday we’re returning to the Inner Science Rings! Again! Sciencemaster Adler and Templeton appreciate your continued interest in their research.
Geek joke, geek video. This may be the best one yet.
San Diego 2010 Part Three Jam Comic
Here is a phone camera piture of a jam comic! Who all is responsible? Let's see... there's Mer and Tanya and Pen and me Jamie and Sam and Zack and Tyler and Becky. Wes and Tony too.
There's a couple I'm not sure about, email me if it's you to let me know, that was a zany night. Like, I'm finally absolutely certain what "zany" means.
Also I think I asked everybody but if anyone is not cool with this being up let me know and I'll yank it and I won't tell nobody.
I should probably just draw big crazy complicated adventure comics but I just got a great idea for a novel and you probably noticed that the second issue of my minicomic is a bit late so I should really knuckle down and focus.
On something?!
like voting at top web comics maybe! For a drawing I did figuring out which suggestion to use today.
Ludwig von Robotnik suggested: The sky ship is falling!
Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations
Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!
Dr Quickly: The sky ship is FALLING?! That's absurd, insane, impossible, ridiculous! It could NEVER fall -- the gods protect it and ANYWAY it's a FAIRY TALE for BABIES and what would YOU know ANYWAY?!
Rabid: I have... the GEEGAW of REVELATION!
Dr Quickly: Wasn't there a prophecy or some shit?
Noel: Beats me!
Dr Quickly: Okay kid you're not in trouble or anything... but NO QUESTING, got it?
Rabid: Maybe I should have listened...
Rabish: Quit moonin' over yer doomed civilization an' lend a hand!
New Cyanide and Happiness Comic.
But for now, I’m busy transcribing the Khoo/Kurtz/Guigar panel, and have news to share from Ryan Sohmer and Zach Weiner. Good stuff, I promise.
Not much to report on this end. I am still very busy, so I will stick with the weekly updates for a while longer. On the Library Finds front, I haven’t had much luck this summer. Every book I’ve read has just fallen flat. Therefore, I’ve taken up reading the classics. I’m not quite sure why some books are designated as classics while others are just fiction, but it’s safe to say that most are interesting. Does anyone have a favorite classic book that they want to recommend?
Achewood strip for Sunday, July 25, 2010
Sorry, no votey! I forgot to draw one before I left. But, I'll put one up when I get home.
New Cyanide and Happiness Comic.
One of my favorite painters of all time, Brandon Bird has put together a super fun Law and Order themed gallery. From Bird’s site:
“For twenty years, the heroes of “Law & Order” have navigated literally hundreds grotesque tragedies, moral quandries, and improbable crimes.
Each piece is an artist’s interpretation of a one-line episode summary from the DirecTV program guide. Like the series that inspired them, they are sometimes straight forward and sometimes offer a twist; sometimes they contain no easy answers, and sometimes they are just plain goofy.
“These are Their Stories” will run July 24 to July 30, 2010 at Gallery Meltdown, 7522 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046.
Cake, ice cream, and snacks will be served all day opening day and at a special reception the night of the 28th (8:00 to 10:00 pm). “
Not only did I create a piece for the show, there are lots of other people involved who you probably like! Kate Beaton! Scott C.! Michael Kupperman! David Malki!! Chip Zdarsky! Carly Monardo! (Her painting is amazing, and my favorite, and I’m not just saying that because we’re getting married.) I wish I was anywhere near L.A. so that I could go, but I’m not, so I urge you to attend in my stead.
-Christopher
Okay, no photos and limited links — it’s just too painful fighting with the spare wifi available to me, which frequently achieves speeds measurable in the double-digit KB/sec. The hub of nerdery and modern cultural passions is in a location that runs on dial-up. If there are errors of formatting, I’ll fix it later.
To fill time while the DVD burned, he started with an open Q&A, which was punctuated by a very polite conversation with an attendee to one side of the room who was engaged in a very loud cell phone conversation.
If you were to script out a scene with a clueless person having a loud, interruptive conversation in an inappropriate setting, and then having to explain to the person on the other side of that conversation that he was being told to stop having this loud, interruptive conversation, and made it feature the most socially graceless protagonist acting in the most socially graceless manner possible? What actually happened in room 5AB would be rejected by the script editor for being too cliched and stereotypical.
I honestly don’t know if that was a real socially awkward person (and how many of those do you find at Comic Con?) or a minor entertainment for our benefit; call it 50-50 either way.
The actual presentation led to conclusions that were drawn so broadly and so obviously for laughs (yet so seriously, earnestly, and in the manner of most academic papers I’ve read) that Gurewitch was clearly having fun with us — but like most of his works, there was a kernel of truth at the center that was fascinating and insightful.
Namely, in a multi-panel comic (and this is extended to final scenes/shots in movies and other staged entertainments), the final panel is a summation of all that goes before it. It encapsulates all of what previously happened and could in many cases stand alone as a single-panel gag. This perspective hadn’t occurred to me previously, and has had me looking at comics more carefully since yesterday; it’s an interesting idea and maybe an universal phenomenon.
Gurewitch also dropped some hints about his current projects: his next book will be a graphic novel “the size of a wallet”, done with a “scratching” technique that hurts his hand; as a result, production is a bit slow, and it’s due out at “some future Halloween.”
He also shared some cartoons that he’s finished for the BBC’s online arm (produced through a subsidiary of Endemol, the UK-Dutch production company that owns massive entertainments like Survivor); these are due to go up next month under the series title Sometimes This Happens, and they are hilarious (particularly the ones set in outer space, and one featuring a bear animated by the awesome Rebecca Sugar).
Gurewitch is also writing a lot of movies, has just finished a draft of a feature film, and is likely to do some comics sooner rather than later — he has ideas sketched out that need to be finished. Likely none of those comics will be what he described as the most awful idea for a comic [he] ever had:
A giant penis and a giant vagina say “let’s fuck”, and they have little human beings where genitals would be, and the little people have a sophisticated conversation.
Nicholas Gurewitch, ladies and gentlemen — there’s nobody else like him.
Booth busytimes kept me from the other presentations I wanted to see, but there was plenty happening to make up for it.
The three-issue comic is due out in the fall, and Kerschl says they will likely be working on it extensively until end of the year, then hopefully have more time for creator projects. Projects like clearing the backlog of sketch editions of the Abominable Charles Christopher books (he’s got about 100 still to do, and working on them as fast as he can — believe me when I say it’s worth the wait, because what Kerschl calls a “sketch” is unbelievably delicate and complex and beautiful), and Stewart’s newly Eisner-minted webcomic, Sin Titulo. Naturally, Stewart’s most serious competition for the Best Digital Comic award was Kerschl, which will doubtless lead to happy good times back in their Montreal studio.
In both cases, she’s collaborating with a writer, and in both cases the early art that she was gracious enough to share with me is some of the best comics work she’s done in her career. Also, she’s selling original pages from DAR! for ridiculously low prices; I came this close to buying the original of Junk Waxing Party, and still might if I can find a safe way to transport it. Even if it doesn’t go home with me, I now know why the dude at the junk waxing party has a squirrel on his head. Good times.
Up today: Webcomics Lightning round at 5:00pm in room 8; Robert Khoo, Brad Guigar, and Scott Kurtz answer questions on all aspects of webcomicking without bogging down in details and rat-holes. I’ll be trying to get as many notes as I can.
Here are the first 20 chapters of my novel One Bloody Thing After Another:
Prologue, parts i and ii
Chapters 1 and 2
Chapters 3 and 4
Chapters 5 and 6
Chapters 7 and 8
Chapters 9 and 10
Chapters 11 and 12
Chapters 13 and 14
Chapters 15 and 16
Chapters 17 and 18
Chapters 19 and 20
If you like it, you should buy the book so you can read the rest, and also so I can be happy and feel like a real man!
http://www.GiantITP.com/comics/oots0737.html
New Cyanide and Happiness Comic.
“I’m sure Jeph Jacques was responsible.”
WIth those damning words, Sam Logan laid responsibility for his difficulties getting to SDCC squarely at the feet of his greatest rival. What should have been a routine trip from Logan’s home in British Columbia to the airport in Bellingham, Washington was fatally compromised by “delays at the border”, which caused Logan to miss the only flight of the day to San Diego, and necessitated a 2000km roadtrip, accomplished in 22 hours. Reached for comment that his minions had been responsible for the delays at the US-Canadian border, Jacques said, “I wouldn’t say that they were officially my minons.”
In less menacing news, Fleen can confidently report:
The other practical upshot of the session: working on items that gain a mass-market consciousness is that they can take over your identity. To a degree, Rich Stevens is now known as “the Scott Pilgrim shirt guy”, Andy Bell as “the Android guy”, and Chris Yates as “the poop sign guy” (all of which items are available for purchase at the Dumbrella booth, #1337; NB: Fleen is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Dumbrella Hosting. This disclaimer may contain forward-looking statements that should not be relied upon as definitive guidance; consult a financial professional before making any investing decisions, and see a doctor if you experience erections lasting more than four hours).
It was from this vantage point that the Scott Pilgrim party bus was observed to arrive at the same venue, as even fancy-pants Hollywood types want to be as close to a TopatoCo party as possible (it’s rumored but unconfirmed at this time that Michael Cera tried to crash, but was turned back by TopatoCo’s hired goons).
Making it past the goons was Hope Larson, who dropped some tantalizing hints about her magical girl graphic novel (with Tintin Pantoja on art) and A Wrinkle in Time adaptation, due in 2012 and 2013; it’s a bit early in the process to be entirely certain, but at this point it’s about 98% certain that both of these books will continue the trend of each Hope Larson project somehow managing to be even better than the one before it.
Up today: the Nappy Hour panel with Keith Knight, Spike, and Dwayne McDuffie (10:30 in room 3; by the time you read this you should be heading up there); the Nicholas Gurewitch panel (3:30 in room 5AB) and the Archaia panel (6:30 in room 9; Tom Siddell of Gunnerkrigg Court, whom I spoke to only briefly at the TopatoCo party, will be part of the panel).
Well, the final episode of Erfworld Book 1 for mobile has just been released, starting with the Android app. I just want to say once again how great it has been to work with the people of Robot Comics to make these happen. It has been one of the best working relationships I've had in comics.
BTW, Jamie Noguchi designed their new logo:
New Comic: Blood And Oil, Part One
Tycho: Today marks the debut of a guest Automata "event," drawn by the incomparable Ben Caldwell and "Book of Eli" scribe Gary Whitta. We don't have any right to talent like this, and giving the site over to them for a week or so will probably get you accustomed to work of genuine quality, at which point they will usurp us and we will have to get new jobs. So, maybe not our best plan ever. I guess we'll see. Dragon Quest IX and my Nintendo DSi entertainment system are now fused, representing a single, dedicated entertainment apparatus. Anything not absolutely ...
Tom the Dancing Bug for Friday, July 23, 2010
I used to love to titrate in my chem labs, burettes were designed to be abused in dozens of different ways. Also, drips are neat! I may start titrating here at home just as a hobby. On the weekends.
Okay. Friday. Comic-con. Yes! Come see me. I may still be sane. Booth #1337.
Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
Wooh! First full comicon day went well. Don't forget to come by and say hi at booth 1232. We got shirts, DVDs, and my sexy sexy face. Wooh!
Also, don't forget to read JP's Blog (scroll down) for contest info. Whee!
Guest Comic by Bobby
Since I am clearly going to be incapable of getting a new comic together this week, here is a surprise guest comic courtesy of Rainbow Punch, which is not bad at all!
Thanks to everyone who has bought the book so far. I am assuming those of you who haven't bought the new Scott Pilgrim book instead, which is a wise decision.
Thanks to everyone who has come to say hi at the Comics-Con so far! Here are more details about TopatoCo at Comic-Con 2010!
Gangs of cloned child hoodlums, a sorry side effect of early attempts at regular citizen-backup programmes.
Dr Quickly, of course, has a lump of delicious meats in his bag in the third panel, since he stopped at the Steak Land Boozeteria.
Are you voting at top web comics? Let's keep doing that!
Basket of Beaks suggested: Rabot joins an online dating site, with dire consequences.
Storyline this comic is involved in: Variations
Suggest a starter panel! Vote for this comic at TopWebComics for a fancy reward!
Dr Quickly: !
Dr Quickly: This looks familiar...
Noel: I just buy what they bring me, you know that.
Dr Quickly: All right you underage ruffians -- I brought you some prescription-strength beers -- can we talk?
Rabid: Nice, old dude!
Rabid: Regular wage, plus commission -- she set up some, like, dating site to lure marks.
<< pop !! >>
Rabid: PUT ME DOWN
Dr Quickly: We need to talk.
Rabot: Wow! It must have been a wild date! I don't remember a THING!
New Cyanide and Happiness Comic.
by Ryan Agadoni
Okay, gang — with onsite WiFi still indeterminate, cell tethering that needs additional work, a hotel that doesn’t feature free network connections, and 6000 people in the Scott Pilgrim line between me and the press office, my webcomics reading this week is going to be severely backlogged. With luck, postings will go up when I want them to, and at worst you’ll have to wait a bit for photos. I’m confident that you will deal.
She also (probably wisely) declined my offer of a dollar to reenact the “Black Rage” speech from Chasing Amy for the cameras. Asked to sum up the experience, she offered, “I had a good feeling [about the interview]; it didn’t feel like a, ‘Holy shit, look at the freaks movie’.”
Having negotiated his way onto foreign booth-soil by means of both persuasion and compulsion, Rowland obtained for himself treaty rights to the underoccupied booth and planted his flag. When Weiner raised protests regarding his treatment, Rowland was heard to exclaim, “Payback! It’s reparations!” Weiner was then herded onto a reservation and provided with smallpox-infected blankets.
Coming later today: the Dumbrella panel, 11:30am in room 3, to be moderated by yours truly. Also, we’ll crack open the web of intrigue that attempted — and failed! — to keep Sam Logan out of the US and away from the show. Could his longtime nemesis Jeph Jacques have been involved? Come back to find out.
Hello from the San Diego Comicon, where everything is sunny and nerdy and covered in Scott Pilgrim. It's so cool seeing something actually good be so popular.
You better believe I brought a ton of pixel skull shirts. I'm proud as hell that they're in the movie. We (Dumbrella) are at the usual spot: #1337. It's right under the huge webcomics section banner.
sauce it up, just for the chef. come on, just get some of the best gravy and pour it on the food, go ahead
Oh those wacky business men!
There are some pretty good entries over at this week comic battle – go check them out!
Insects probably have strong opinions on lawn care, seeing as they live on them a lot of the time.
If the computers that run this thing are doing their jobs correctly, it is Thursday all day today and the first full day of San Diego Comic-Con! I would like every one of you who are on the west coast to stop by Booth #1337 (right underneath the huge official “Webcomics” banner) and purchase the compete set of Goats books. This is the first time I’ve had all three books available at a convention and it’s pretty exciting to be able to make them available like this. So come on down and I’ll even sign and doodle in ‘em for you, free of charge! If you’ve been meaning to read Goats the books are the absolute best way to do it.
ALSO: The Dumbrella panel is today!
Thursday, 11:30am-12:30pm Panel room 3
Come ask the artists of Dumbrella about their personal habits and other miscellanea. Guaranteed smiles for all. Bonus points if you bring us alcohol and/or Red Bull.
See you there!
Come see me at booth 1232 at SDCC. FREE HIGH FIVES!
New Cyanide and Happiness Comic.
Hey everyone… sorry but I gotta slow down a bit again, if only temporarily. A lot of things are ramping up for me right now and I gotta be able to focus, or else I’ll screw all of it up. This dance probably looks familiar to you, but the difference this time is I still got plenty of comics in me, not to mention a storyline I’m dying to complete. HONEST!
You can expect new episodes “every 1-2 weeks” now… so this ain’t a hiatus, or the end. When I took breaks in the past I had doubts about the future of aLp, but not this time. aLp is gonna live on for a lot of reasons. I just need to lift the stress that my once-a-week deadline was strangling me with. Hope you guys can understand. As I said, I’m hoping this is temporary and I’ll get back to at least weekly eventually.
As usual, the best ways to catch all updates are: follow me on Twitter, join the mailing list, or become a fan of - oh sorry, “like” - the aLp Facebook page.
So as always, thanks for being super great and reading my comics… and SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!!
Dear Gax,
I have a two-year-old son who is basically trouble incarnate. This child positively delights in doing things he knows he shouldn’t, and thinks up new ways to aggravate me on a daily basis. His elder brother was a much easier child, so I’m at a loss for how to deal with the little weasel. He isn’t old enough for time-outs yet. Any suggestions?
– Exhausted Parent
Dear Exhausted,
How have you been disciplining the child up till now? You say he is not old enough for time-outs, because he may not be developed enough to understand that ten minutes in a corner is supposed to be a punishment, rather than simply a considerate rest period before the next mischief. Yet even without a capacity for higher reasoning, the child, like any animal, will respond to more primitive stimulus.
Perhaps a more severe variant — a Super Time-Out, if you will — should be considered, where instead of being confronted with an abstract absence of stimulation (difficult to make the cognitive leap into behavior deterrence), the child is instead thrust into a stressful survival situation. For instance, if he teases the cat, submerge him immediately in a box of spiders. He will quickly learn not to tease the cat.
Gax, savagely
Dear Gax,
I want to lose weight, but never go to the gym. I want to become a writer, but lack the discipline to write on a daily basis. My car is in disrepair, my house is a mess. I seem to be suffering from chronic laziness. How can I whip myself into a more industrious lifestyle?
– Lazy Bones
Dear Lazy,
For what reason do you seek a life of furious industry? Being from a race that gathers into a hive formation each autumn, take it from me — there is no great benefit to working hard. Being even halfway competent at anything means you just end up crowded against a thousand other hand-picked Champions, trying to lift a billion-ton mountain and throw it into the sea, as has been prophesied by the Elders. But no matter how hard you strain and try to lift that mountain, it remains rooted in the soil as firmly as ever. I don’t even know whose dumb idea it is to keep trying every year. It doesn’t even have handholds, you guys. That would be a good place to start, and if the Council would still take my calls I would tell them so myself. I do not know if they read this column — due to their advanced age, their eyes may have tuned out of the visible-light phase by now.
What do you claim your problems are? According to your letter, you are fat and creatively dissatisfied, with a diseased car and a horrible house. Rivers have carved this deep canyon in you over time, and it is not as simple as saying “Go back uphill, river.” This is your river on purpose, and the best you can do is dig a canal or make this downward-flowing river turn a turbine for your benefit. Recast your failings as strengths and attempt to view life with these “undesirable characteristics” as an immutable constant. What new opportunities present themselves that you may have overlooked? Can you be a fetish model for hoarders, or hire yourself out as a “before” specimen for infomercials? These are just a few examples. If you forget your petty ambitions and instead accept yourself as your life has thus far molded you, then technically this counts as a win for me and I get a bonus for this column, without you even having to do anything.
Gax, tolerantly
Dear Gax,
In my country, our governors have adopted a ferocious funding-cut policy instead of dealing with the much worse problems of corruption and tax evasion. Thus, as college students, my colleagues (even the most eager-studying ones) and I are being put in the position of not being able to take all the examinations in our academic curriculum by the end of the standard term, thus being forced to pay tuition for an extra year in order to graduate.
Isn’t this unfair? Should I get politically involved to try and fix this situation? What would you do?
– Aggravated Student
Dear Aggravated,
Political organizing will only put you further behind on your schoolwork. You are committing the typical human mistake of assuming that problems have solutions, and focusing your energy on the perceived injustice rather than on progress toward your goal. Sometimes, problems are simply problems. Let me give you an example.
Earlier I mentioned the mountain on Gax that is prophesied to one day be thrown into the sea. Our Elders have decreed it will happen, so once a year everyone entwines their necks and gets onto a synchronistic hive frequency, and then we pick the strongest thousand adults and duly go try to pick up the mountain. (I was on the varsity squad three years in a row, until I threw out my stomodaeum. Threw it at one of the Elders, actually. Long story and epic poem.) And it’s kind of a stupid ritual because nobody ever lifts the mountain.
But — and it took me quite a long time to realize this — that’s the point. Nobody will ever lift the mountain, no matter how hard we try. So, at the end of the Festival, when we all go back to our warrens and caves and volcanoes and split-level townhomes made of chitin, we know that if nothing else, the mountain is still there. We tried to move it, and we couldn’t. So now we have to just plan our lives around it. You humans have feasts and you toast to old victories over defeated enemies, but that puts it in your head that all situations have enemies that can somehow be defeated. On Gax, the Festival is a reminder that sometimes, when we’re trying to go somewhere, there’s just a mountain in the way, and that’s okay. We can deal with it without going all to pieces shouting and railing at the mountain.
I mean if you want to get all agitated, you could write some angry letters and satisfy your urge for action. Then you can take correspondence courses, or have a bake sale to raise tuition money, or pay a hobo to take one test while you’re taking another so you can use your time more efficiently. After all, what would be cheaper: hiring a hobo to learn the material and then take the test, or paying the extra tuition for yourself? In other words, there are things you can do to manage, but you have to make plans assuming that the world will not change for your sake.
However, you do not mention if your academic curriculum involves cultivating a supervirus. If that is the case, your options widen considerably.
Gax, infectiously
[Gax is an alien from the planet Gax. Have a question for Gax? Leave a comment on this post.]
You're in the middle of a storyline! [...]
by Doug and Olivia TenNapel
A Softer World
Achewood
Alien Loves Predator
Axe Cop
Basic Instructions
Big Fat Whale
Bigger Than Cheeses
Bob the Angry Flower
Boy on a Stick and Slither
Bunny
Buttercup Festival
Cat and Girl
Comics by Patrick Alexander
Cyanide and Happiness
Diesel Sweeties
Dork Tower
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Erfworld
Everybody Loves Eric Raymond
Fleen
Goats
Journey to Mt. Moriah
MS Paint Adventures
Married to the Sea
NIH
Name Removed
Nedroid Picture Diary
Not Included
Official Achewood
Order of the Stick
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
Perry Bible Fellowship
Pictures for Sad Children
PvP
Raymondo Person
SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Scenes From A Multiverse
Simulated Comic Product
Slow Wave
Starslip
Superpoop
The Oatmeal
The Saturday Bulletin
Three Panel Soul
Tom the Dancing Bug
VG Cats
Wigu
Wondermark
chainsawsuit
thingpart
xkcd
Last updated:
July 31, 2010 07:19 PM
All times are UTC. Isn't that just super?
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